Dogs!

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Blind_Pew, Apr 27, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.
    I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.
    I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

    Stupid cow..........why else would I buy fucking dog food??
     
  2. http://www.armyranger.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=25505&highlight=diet


    What a strange coincidence that you two had exactly the same experience.
     
  3. I also posted this in Poppy's bumber jokes thread (before this thread started). Yawn.
     
  4. HA HA HA HA HA HA !!! OWNED!!! :D :D
     
  5. Fulltrain get your own avator!!!
     
  6. Quality! :D PMSL


    :yawnstretch: Bore off FFS :roll:
     
  7. Ah tis a great story so...
     
  8. Ah ! that explains why I drag my arrse along the carpet at times, Grrrrrr

    WW
     
  9. Don't care who first wrote it, this is first time I've read it and whoever wrote it, it's brilliant :D


    edited cos my smilies are having the day off!
     
  10. I've never seen it before so really appreciated it (and may use the tale myself one day soon!)
     
  11. Epic............bill for new keyboard and screen on way..........come on, missus, we're off to Tescos to try a new one out!!
     
  12. Great stuff!
    chuckling here like a girl!

    troop!
     
  13. I dont care how many times its been done its class....pmsl.