Dogs - why?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BedIn, Apr 16, 2012.

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  1. I do enjoy a bit of a run. However, my pleasure is often blighted by dogs.

    I hate dogs and the freaks that own them.

    For a start, I tend to run on tracks and trails and so spend a good deal of my time leaping turds. Thanks for the dog shit, you dog owning freaks. If you want a dog, you get its shit. I don't want a dog and I don't want dog shit.

    However, the turds they lay are as nothing compared to the actual animals themselves and the freaks that own them.

    A few examples:
    - Running along happily when from behind me some hound runs into my legs, knocking me over. I get up, the canine prick jumping up at me, to see its owner about 100m away shouting ineffevtually for it. She appeared hurt and surprised when I pointed out she should either control or destroy her animal.
    - Running merrily along (elsewhere in the UK) when a fucking colly starts nipping my legs. I point out to the fat bitch owner, who was ineffectually calling its name, that it was biting me. She replied, "he's just a puppy". Oh well that's fine; it can continue to bite me.
    - Out running through a rural village when a fucking wolf runs out and corners me, growling like its got rabies. The owner continues to hang up her washing whilst calling its name. When she eventually decided to hall her arse over she was once more surprised at my anger and gave my favourite excuse: "he's only playing".

    Then last weekend I was out for a walk with the Bedin minors (3 and 5) when a fucking dog runs up and starts jumping up at them, covering them in mud and reducing the smaller one to screaming tears. I properly unload at the prick of an owner who trots out - you've guessed it - "he's just a puppy". A) it's not a puppy, the Andrex puppy is a puppy, this is a young adult and B) my daughter is just 3. I nearly killed the prick.

    The irritating thing is that none of these were put bulls owned by chavs, they were all wholesome breeds owned by middle class sorts who apparently think I like their hairy turd dispensers as much as them.

    And "he's just playing" or "he wouldn't hurt anyone"? Fuck off. If I ran at you with a knife, but at the last minute stopped would that be OK if I was "just playing"?

    Why do you need a dog; have you failed at same species relationships? I've seen threads on here with people getting all weepy about dead canines. Get a grip.

    And no doubt some borderline bestiality enthusiast will come back with something about other peoples' children or some such guff. Children are humans and the perpetuation of the human race. Dogs are hairy play things. Don't agree? You kill a child, I'll kill a dog and we'll see what society thinks.
     
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  2. I've never heard of anyone getting attacked by dogs as regularly as you do. Either you're a great hermer who shits himself every time he sees a Yorkshire terrier, or you're a cunt and the dogs can see you deserve it.
     
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  3. skid2

    skid2 LE Book Reviewer

    Quit running. You're obviously a dog and dog shit magnet.
     
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  4. To be fair, only greyhounds can catch me.
     
  5. Fuck all to do with the dogs. Everything to do with the owners.

    Edit- I note most of your examples involved fat women owners with no leadership presence. Perhaps we should ban fat women.
     
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  6. I think you are the one who needs to get a grip comparing dogs to running at someone with a knife. You just seem to criticise what you dont understand i.e. dog wanting to play.
     
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  7. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    It's a conundrum... I hate other people's dogs - "He's so lively!", "Oops, he's got a bit of wind." or "Don't worry. Just stand still and it'll all be okay."
    yet I grew up with a dog(s).
    Smokie was a half alsatian and half husky and a big pansy but if you tried to come through the window, Gawd help you.
    Sam was a Dachshund that was rescued. Fierce as fuck and spotted that snake way before I did.
    Punto the Dalmatian. Shagged everything in sight in the 'hood.

    Other people's dogs acan fuck off and their owners should be destroyed. Immediately.
     
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  8. maybe its time to stop wearing that meat scented deoderant that you favour.
     
  9. Or dogs just dont like you...
     
  10. Its simple dial 101 and report the out of control animal. While you have your phone out, take pictures of it and its owner.

    I happen to like dogs but some dog owners are incompetent and/or downright negligent.
     
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  11. Or maybe wipe his ringpiece a bit better. Dogs will always want to get up close to a smelly hoop.
     
  12. It's because dogs love the smell of cunt.
     
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  13. Weird, mine hated old Gurkha (Nepalese) women. A bit awkward when I was posted to 30 Sigs...
     
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  14. My doggie is really vicious.So be careful when running past our house....
     

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  15. Dogs smell fear!