I work in a large HQ in Germany which is increasingly like a dog kennel with hounds wandering around, barking, peeing and crapping. Many of the dogs are smelly and obnoxious. I have complaine dto my boss that I do not want his fat, idle, stinking labrador sniffing around my office, bins or my body seeking out sweets ....

Once only the CO had a dog to work, this has filtered down to everyone, including dependats as MOD civilians - this is barking (literally) and I think that all dogs, children, wives (and ex-wives) should be excluded from the workplace.

What is the MOD policy on this ? If I trip over one of these pooches and kick it to death am I covered ?
Do not, repeat DO NOT leave grapes or raisins, or chocolate, lying around where these dogs can get them. These seemingly innocuous foodstuffs can be poisonous to dogs.

If you have to leave the aforementioned items loafing in your deskspace for some obscure health reason which is of no concern to anyone but yourself, then as a responsible person, you should warn the owners of the possible ramifications of their pets larcenous tendencies.

And before anyone accuses me of being a cantankerous misogynist, I would like to point out that i love my dog, but he does what i bloody well tell him. Maybe these dogs know the true level of leadership present in the senior management at this unnamed establishment!
Years ago whilst working at the Armoured Trials and Development Unit in sunny Bovington, I was unfortunate enough to work with a certain obnoxious Cavalry captain who insisted on bringing his dog to work every day. When on duty at the site you got a scab pack meal as the compound was a secure area and you couldn't just disappear for lunch. This dog allegedly had a dodgy stomach, or so we were told by the officer. Everytime I was on duty I always used to give "Fido" a shout and in he would trot where I would then force feed him my "plastic" sausage roll. The following day, said officer would always come and say that Fido had shat all over the kitchen floor that night and he always asked "you haven't been feeding him have you." How I kept a straight face I will never know.


1. You go sick and get noted as being allergic to dogs. You then inform your unit you are allergic to dogs and:

a. wish to move to a work place that does not have dogs all over it as that is hazardous to your health.

b. the unit consider bringing in a rule that no dogs are allowed in the workplace.

You could also ask for an environmental health inspection to check if the workplace is becoming unhealthy to live in due to dog excrement & traces of urine.

None of the above is advisory if you are a dog handler :D
The dogs you are referring to that are smelly, and crap and piss in the workplace..... Do they have 2 or 4 legs? Am just trying to work out which ones as you could be talking about and HQ especially if there are a large number of RLC present......

just wanted some clarification since everyone presumed you were talking about teh 4 legged variety ;)
There is an MOD Policy on this (wouldn't you just know it!). To quote:

"Due to the current Health and Safety at Work Act, any person who works within the confines of MOD property who intends to bring a dog onto such sites while at work or visiting is to have completed a dog registration application form. On completion of the application a risk asesment will be conducted before authority can be granted".


Book Reviewer
It's OK for the Orrficers to bring in their runty little dogs, I sit in my office having a wank and it's frowned upon.

Double bloody standards in my opinion.
what happens if the workplace is a kitchen? We have people fetching their dogs into the offices here.
Leave loads of laxitive chocolates around and book a few days off the resulting carnage of shitting labs and spaniels over the place should getting the message across.
I like dogs, just not at work.

I sm with the Koreans on that - 'A dog is not just for Xmas

......if you buy a Great Dane it will feed you until Easter'.

and Gunner officers with fat, stinking labs

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