Dogs in the Mess Part 2

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Colonel_Crusty, Sep 18, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Well it has finally happened and I am absolutely appalled. The Mess Contractor has banned all dogs from the Mess with effect from the start of next month quoting some ridiculous Health and Safety legislation. The contract seems watertight and there appears to be no room to manoeuvre. We are at a loss as to how to combat these wretched civilians.

    I was grateful for the positive replies on this subject before and wonder if now is the time to take decisive action.

  2. Fcuking hell Colonel, that does seem harsh! Why don't you get a pet rock instead? They're well trained I've been told!

    Saying that, if they did ban dogs from the messes in the Navy, one has got to ask the question-Where would the girlies socialise???? :D
  3. Well thank you, Matelot, that was most helpful advice.

  4. Colonel,

    I assume that it is time to take drastic action of the HASAW/Contract baiting kind:

    a. Identify every HASAW breach you can and bring it to the attention of the contract manager with boring regularity;
    b. Additionally use every oppportunity open to you to complain about the service and how the contract is being breached;

    Neither of these are rocket science, nor particularly gainful use of your time, but I would suggest that if you mobilise your troops, get them all on the 'complain culture' bandwagon and bombard the contract 'help'desk with enough painful crap you will win a moral victory.

    Key points that I would point out:

    1. Food too cold/hot/poor quality;
    2. Condiments poorly cared for/dirty bottle lids;
    3. Mess staff incorrectly dresed in the kitchens (particularly front of house travelling into the kitchens;
    4. Most fire regulations will be being breached regularly.

    In short play em at their own game.

    One thing I am becoming inctreasingly aware of is costings for parties: I noticed our dear three letter frineds' employees leaving an event with arms full of opened bottles which had been billed to the party, but not used. Fraud and theft are are extreme things to be on the lookout for but diligence will bear rewards, I am confident.

  5. Well Colonel, my brother

    There is an alternative devious way open to thee.

    Find someone with a pet rat (preferably black or brown), or buy one. When the mess staff have knocked off place it in stategic areas around the mess and take photographs. Then show the afore mentioned photographs as evidence. Threaten to contact his boss, as obviously a lack of hygiene has caused this plague, or you can tell him that you will bring your dog into the mess preferably a jack russel or other terrierto spare his blushes. These dogs, as I am sure you are aware, are well known for their ability to hunt small game. Once one dog is in hey presto, you cant have one rule for one and one rule for another.

    Or you can just contact his boss and try and get him sacked for a new wilco manager!
  6. Our mess has rats and contractors and dogs!

    Please pray tell - which contractor?