Dogs and their Owners

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Praetorian, Dec 18, 2007.

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  1. Now, dogs looking like their owners is a well known phenomenom, but dogs acting like their owners?

    I know an ex-RMP and an ex-Bootneck, and both of them have dogs that are disturbingly similar to their owners stereotypes.

    Round Mate 1's house last week, patting dog on head, dog is quite happy, then the fucking thing bites me. Reminds me of the way that monkeys talk calmly until you're restrained enough to not lamp them.

    Mate 2's dog eats and drinks anything, lags everywhere, and eats his own shit.

    As an aside, my missus's dog is a right slag when its walkies time.

  2. I have no comment to make at all on this........... Shut up the rest of you before you start.
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I have just bought a little Shitzu. She is a bitch and poo's on the carpet. I fear she may have to go back to the shop after Christmas.

    She is called Frou Frou Pantaneera 111 on the pedigree papers, but I just call her 'Nigel'.
  4. I've seen this. Mate's dog hunches down with bulging eyes and crimps several off while rotating in an anti-clockwise direction.

    Then while my mate holds his nose with one hand and reaches for a shitebag with the other, the mutt suddenly changes direction and scoffs the lot.

    This is bad news and embarrassing on church parade.

    Worse still is when, due to over-eating, it chucks its ring up in the back of the car.

    Not so much a technicolour yawn as a uniformly brown and stinking one.
  5. Mrs Tubs and I have two dogs of the same breed and very similar pedigrees. She bought the first one and, as it happened, spent more time during his formative years. The second was exactly the opposite.

    So we have the situation where she has one dog and I have the other. Now, I don't want to read too much into the theory of dogs being like their owners, but hers is moody, highly strung, a picky eater, will only 5hit in specific areas, only affectionate on his own terms and a bit of a wuss.

    My dog on the other hand is always happy and waggy, so laid-back it's unbelievable, will (within reason) sh!t and p!ss anywhere, will eat absolutely anything, loves (and will hump) anyone and anything and this morning decided to have a go at taking on a fox. He's only 6 months old and still fairly small, but he still had a go and scared off a full grown fox!

    Still, I reckon the theory is rubbish.......

    I'm fatter than my dog!

  6. i have a beagle who likes nothing better than eating other dog's poo. Not sure if Mrs sapper37 is in the habit of smoking big Cuban cigars and the dog thinks it's doing the same the longer and thicker the better. I wouldn't mind too much but it copy's the mrs by laying it's head on my pillow and breathing in my face :pukel: .

    Come to think of it smells better than the missus!
  7. My dog (see...erm..left!) likes shooting, country pursuits, sex and the smell of my farts. Given half a chance he will fly up onto the sofa and nestle into TFB's capacious bosomry. He eats steak practically uncooked for pleasure and barks at the Liberal Democrat woman. He pisses just by the back door on the patio and recently became fond of Guinness.

    No, there is nothing in this "dogs are like their owners nonsense", as far as I can tell...
  8. Fcuking legend ! ;)
  9. What is he then - - a GUN dog ?
  10. Yes he is....tish-boom!

    I've always wanted to be a straight man...oh no, I can't believe I just said that, on here! Take cover, INCOMING!!
  11. My mate (Ex Royal Green Jackets) has a dog with a fettish for killing pretty birds and burying them in the sand.
  12. My dog's a one eyed Scottish Terrier. He fucks anything that moves and is shite with money....I bought him off a bloke called Gordon.
  13. Jesus....... :roll:
  14. What ever the breed you will have a friend for life, even in the same breed the personalities are so different.
    Both SO nosey, they have to be in there when you are working on anything!
    Always good listeners. :wink:

    Will never let you down!