Doggie Farts

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by k13eod, Oct 24, 2007.

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  1. There must be other dog owners out there or someone ex/serving in the RAVC who can give advice on this rather delicate matter.

    My little princess of an SBT, 3 years old and a rescue dog from the RSPCA, has a tendency to emit the most foul, putrid and silent farts the moment she is settled in the car. A fact that, had she been sniffed before seen, would have led her to be christened 'Rancid' rather than 'Bonnie'.

    Now, she is no nervous traveller and seems relaxed and at ease in the car. But no sooner have we travelled a couple of miles and the whole car becomes enveloped in this noxious, unseen gas delivered silently. It is so foul that at times I have temporarilly been blinded and, whilst gagging and stuggling to get the windows down, have almost lost cotrol of the car. She on the other hand shows no outward sign of it bothering her in the least. Last summers trip from Kent to the Lakes was an epic with farts being delivered on average every 33 miles!

    Now, we have tried changes of diet as well as good long walks and plenty of water before departure. We have even considered strapping an air freshener to her arrse to enable the gas to be filtered but feel that this might amount to cruelty!

    Any advice would be appreciated so long as it steers clear of cruelty or acts of beastiality to the poor pongy pooch!
  2. What's bestiality?
  3. I think the question has to be asked, does the family blame the dog????
    It has been known for me to drop one at my latest female friends house and the dog is always blamed. Unless you go to my sisters her dog goes for you if you do it.
  4. Oops ... changed it! I suppose 'bestiality would be being really good at it!
  5. Mate, if I could fart on demand like that I wouldn't be asking for advice on here, I'd be down the hospital getting a good pull through :wink:
  6. I think it was right the first time. I was just being a tw@t :D
  7. Just checked on my spell checker (not smell checker) and your right ... I changed it and made a right mong of myself :oops:
  8. Feed the mutt just chicken and pasta for a while before the journey.

    No doggy treats or biscuits: they seem to make our hounds from hell emit really dreadful farts.
  9. Charcoal biscuits (or bits of coal/BBQ fuel if you are cheap).

    Don't eat them yourself. Feed them to the dog.
  10. A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.

    The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the dinner the young man realized he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.

    "SPOT!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at the young man's feet.

    Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, the young man let another, slightly larger one go. "Spot!" she called out sharply. "I've got it made," thought the fellow to himself. One more and I'll feel fine. So he let loose a really big one.

    "Spot!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he shts on you!"
  11. Chappie original. They don't fart and don't smell, it's also a good balanced tin and has no dairy products in it.

    DO NOT give her any food with heart in it.
  12. LOL ... I am going to use this ... excellent! :lol:
  13. crush charcoal in it's food