Dog saves owners life by eating his toe!

#2
See Sluggy...i tol' you so....the dog smelt rotting flesh and ate his owners toe!! Don't fall asleep next to the ginger bathmat without your rubber pong-proof pants on!!!
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#3
Now....I've been cunted before, but I'm pretty sure that I'd wake up if something was eating my toe!! That's a good effort.

"4 or 5 pints, and a couple of margeritas" my hoop!
 
#4
Mr Douthett said he had been working up the courage to attend a doctor when he downed four or five beers and two giant margaritas and passed out on his bed.

Mr Douthett's wife, Rosee, a nurse, said: "Jerry had had all these margaritas, so I just let him sleep.
What on Earth is wrong with these people? Go to the bloody Doctors! What the worst they're going to do? Amputate your toe with your own Jack Russel? Does anyone else need to drink themselves stupid before they go to the Medic? Does it help to get smashed before a blood test?
 
#5
We had a cleaner who had worked in our building for years. He seemed a sensible type, quite well-spoken, in his 50's. One day, one of the staff passed around a card for this guy. Seems he was in a hospice with terminal bowel cancer. He had been shitting blood for about 18 months before he went to the doctors, by which time it was too late. Less than 6 weeks after his first visit to the doc, he was dead.
 
#6
We had a cleaner who had worked in our building for years. He seemed a sensible type, quite well-spoken, in his 50's. One day, one of the staff passed around a card for this guy. Seems he was in a hospice with terminal bowel cancer. He had been shitting blood for about 18 months before he went to the doctors, by which time it was too late. Less than 6 weeks after his first visit to the doc, he was dead.
Bloody hell. It just goes to show you can never tell. Boots and Superdrug have an over-the-counter Diabetes test for a fiver. I took one prior to Selection just to make sure whether I was kosher (pissing a lot and generally hungry all the time) without the doctors having to find out. Turns out pissing and eating are both enjoyable parts of a healthy lifestyle, but still worth a check.
 
#7
"Mr Douthett's wife, Rosee, a nurse"......................................................
Call me old fashioned but I would think that she should have noticed something before it got to that bad?
 
#8
If she didn't notice, I bet that her 'nursing' duties involve writing forms and running round for consultants.
 
#9
Later editions of The Sun featured an interview with Kiko -

Jerry normally smells like sh1t but I've been eating my own turds for years so I could tell something wasn't right. I had a good sniff of his arrse and a lick of his crotch before noticing that one of his toes was black, like a small turd. I fancied a snack so I got stuck in. Glad to hear that I saved his life. Perhaps now he'll stop feeding me that cr@ppy, cheap dog food.
In a surprise move, Kiko has now been offered a post as a consultant vascular surgeon at The Royal London Hospital.
 
#10
Just as well this drunken geezer didn't have his stinking, rotten fishy smelling todjer out after a good old strop...... his dog might have had a good chew on that as well.......

"What on Earth is wrong with these people? Go to the bloody Doctors! What the worst they're going to do? Amputate your toe with your own Jack Russel? Does anyone else need to drink themselves stupid before they go to the Medic? Does it help to get smashed before a blood test?"

The geezer is probably too pished to notice anything wrong..... brain permanently pickled in 'Speshul Bru' or something similar.
 
#11
Video of the rescue of pit bulls from a drain in Florida.
 

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