Dog Saves Girl

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JoeCivvie, May 3, 2012.

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  1. Being a dog lover I like this story:

    Now compare this with what a fucking cat would have done - assuming that you could get the bastard thing out for a walk. As soon as the girl collapsed it would have eaten her eye-balls, shat in her eye sockets and then fucked off to find a mad and lonely old woman or mad and lonely young woman from whom it could blag a tin of tuna.

    Fucking things.
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  2. As a four year old my sister went missing. Hours later she was found on a roundabout in a park a mile away. Police had to get me and my mother to get her as our dog (then 18month old collie/springer cross) would not let the police near her. Considering the treatment some of them get at the hands of humans were lucky to have them on our side.
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  3. Fucking Greyfriars Bobby Walt.
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  4. I've got a cat. Saved my life on many occasions most recently when it dragged me from my burning car in the nick of time before the full fuel tank exploded devastating a nearby village.You must have read about it. Persephone was given a bravery award by ITV's "Good Morning".
  5. Canaries! Pah! My cat would have it. Np problem.
  6. All your pets are cunts. I can't see them entering your anus via the medium of a cardboard tube like my gerbil. He rocks.
  7. Why don't you buy it a cage like everybody else you tight bastard.
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  8. Maddy would complain.
  9. Don't see why. It would give her something to play with,or even eat if your cage expenditure is anything to go by.
  10. Sheep are not very faithful.
  11. I dunno. Lib Dem MP's are pretty loyal.
  12. It probably set you up in the first place and only dragged you clear when it realised it couldn't open the tins of cat food by itself...

    Don't kid yourself - it probably despises you.

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  13. The Dog's Diary
    [​IMG] 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    The Cat's Diary
    Day 983 of My Captivity
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
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  14. Tweety Pie would not agree with you,,,,,,

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  15. What a confusing thread-header. Was this an average happening in the ladies toilet in a less-than-respectable discoteque ?