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Dog owners thread.

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
porridgegun

I think that you are secretly a very decent man. I may be wrong and you may be a total cunt, but I doubt it.

"griefy cryfest in a cringeworthy and vomitous fashion". OK I understand what you are saying. I'll be alright in a few days. Feel free to vomit, or cringe or anything. Fine by me. I came apart when I lost my dog. That is my way.

But at the end of the day, people on this site really did help me. That is very important. Its very important indeed.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
Having neither a cat or dog, and one neighbour with 5 cats, another with 2. My garden became cat shit central.

Tried the anti-cat powder, fades after a couple of days. Ultrasonic gizmo's that gobble up six AA batteries a week, and the moment they fail, its open season again.

Then I bought one of these. Thirty quid, uses a 9v battery that lasts months.

View attachment 139321

It's as funny as fuck in action, already taken three cats that I've watched, clean off the top of the fence. Can be a little sensitive, butterfly's and fat bee's can also catch its attention.

Was that the automatic gun used in Alien 2? Ran out of ammunition after 300 rounds?
 
But at the end of the day, people on this site really did help me.

They didn't bring your dog back to life though, the selfish bastards.

You should have given Jesus a bell, he does the hole resurrection thing. I had my hound stuffed, but got sick of it being in the way and tripping over it, so put it out with then bins.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
They didn't bring your dog back to life though, the selfish bastards.

You should have given Jesus a bell, he does the hole resurrection thing. I had my hound stuffed, but got sick of it being in the way and tripping over it, so put it out with then bins.

Awww you big softie thing..... Still no offence taken. (the people who gave me comfort were there for me, not the dog.)

I did give Jesus a bell. He works in Nandos in Teesside Park and its pronounced HeyZeus. He knows how I like the vegetarian nachos and cheese.
 

Dicey

LE
They didn't bring your dog back to life though, the selfish bastards.

You should have given Jesus a bell, he does the hole resurrection thing. I had my hound stuffed, but got sick of it being in the way and tripping over it, so put it out with then bins.

You really are a prize cunt - all the charisma of David Beckham but without the intellect.

As I'm in a good mood I'll restrain myself to advising you to continue juggling your ring-clinkers with your piss-soaked cronies in the back of the skip and stop trying to shock.

If you get really lucky someone might buy you a bag of chips for a gobble, you puddle of Pikey piss.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
Was that the automatic gun used in Alien 2? Ran out of ammunition after 300 rounds?
But it ran out of aliens first IIRC, whereas the world's supply of cunt neighbours is unlimited, and mowing them down with amusing man-toys is illegal.
 
P_G, shouldn't you be wrapping mugs for the postman instead of this? :wink:
 
If I wasn't over 300 miles away they'd be long gone mate.

Am elated Ive managed to get under Diceys skin although am glad he's in a good mood, I'd hate to see his internet angry side.

I bet he's got cats.
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
It's a water jet sprayer, with PIR sensor, works at night as well. Connect it up a hose pipe, has a hozelock fitting.

Sprays a diffused jet of water up to 10m, anything from 90 to almost 360 degrees.

[video=youtube_share;mt-C70oeZCI]http://youtu.be/mt-C70oeZCI[/video]

That's fucking excellent.

The council here use a similar system on the homeless.


All hail Emperor Mong.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
Even Bambi got the good news. Add a piezo-electric igniter and pressurised meths connection, and you have a garden feature worthy of Caligula.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
It's a water jet sprayer, with PIR sensor, works at night as well. Connect it up a hose pipe, has a hozelock fitting.

Sprays a diffused jet of water up to 10m, anything from 90 to almost 360 degrees.

[video=youtube_share;mt-C70oeZCI]http://youtu.be/mt-C70oeZCI[/video]

That's ace, can it handle battery acid ?
 
hang on, you people pick up dog shit?

Me with a friends dog.He uses a mini jcb to clean up after him.

IMG_0018-crop.JPG
 
As the originator of the ARRSE Kennel Club thread I considered a long-winded response defending the right of dog owners to bleat, treat their pups like little people, post pics of their babies at every opportunity and become lost to the world through bereavement, however, I simply do not have the time.

This morning I was informed by my solicitor that I am now the owner of great swathes of land around my property so shall spend the day walking the boundaries dressed in corduroy trews and an old wax jacket with matching cap whilst shooting a variety of animals. Sadly, due to the wishy-washy liberal politics of the Scottish Government, there are no trespass rules here so assembled groups of twitchers are off the card.

BTW, given my new status, anyone care to swap two rowdy SB Terriers for a pair of springers?
 
I also laugh like fuck at police dog shows on telly when the land shark mauls fuck out of some gobby cunt.

Don't you just love to see a well trained working dog enjoying its job?

They make me laugh as well.

Rodney2q
 

JoeCivvie

ADC
RIP
Porridge, you want to come here - it's common to see women and couples pushing little rat-type dogs around in purpose-built carts.

We came across this specimen a year or two back - my dog (the Alsation-looking thing you cunt) is looking at the rat-dog and thinking 'WTF is that?'





And yes, the rat-dog is wearing a Winnie the Pooh tracksuit, backpack and pink trainers.
 

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