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Dog owners thread.

I thought we could perhaps have a thread for people who own dogs but don't run thier lives around thier existance and see them as they are...... a pet.

I've got a black lab. I've had dogs and was upset for a day or two when they rolled a seven, my life however trundled on normally and the hounds passing didnt make me turn to the internet in a griefy cryfest in a cringeworthy and vomitous fashion.

Are there any other normal dog owners out there, who take thier dogs for a walk, pick up thier turds, look after them, walk them or are we all wierdos who treat them like children and like to photograph them 40 times a day and post face book up dates telling everyone theyve had a drink of water, eaten a pigs ear or squeezed out a lawn cigar.

Get a grip you barking mad sad fuckwits, its a dog, an animal, yes, you grow attached to them, but they dont live for ever, they die, you move on, not feel suicidal and want the clouds to start squirting 'go to sleep forever juice' all over you.

Cat owners are the same, pack of cunts the lot of them. A bloke that owns cats is even worse, wierd, not wired properly, socially deficient retards. I got up this mornign, let the hound out, walked her round the corner. Not once did I get my camera out, or go 'coochy coochy coo' and speak to it in a homo high pitch camp voice.

Ive purposely kept this away from the kennel club to avoid big blobby sulk tears and letters to the President and the Cat protection league.

Whats the most cringeworthy pet post youve seen?
 

Pitswamper2

War Hero
My wife's cat gets a 'steer' out the door with my slippered foot occasionally.
Modern dog owners seem to fall into 3 camps.
1) Normal. Walks, feeds, game of fetch, a good patting sesh and encouraging to chase cats.
2) Obsessive. Facebook updates, phots etc and maudlin crying jags when the pooch, who has had a good life carks it.
3) The Snail. Batshit mental.
I don't own a dog at the mo, I think leaving a mutt home alone for 9 or so hours a day is cruel and unusual punishment on the animal, furniture and or neighbours. But am planning on a Border Terrier or Beagle when I retire. May settle for a bitzer if prices for pedigrees keep going through the roof.
I have owned Border Terriers and an English Bull Terrier, foisted on me by my sister who was in the Bull Terrier Rescue League. (Officially the worlds stupidest dog. IMO.).
When my last Border died I was more relieved than sad, as the little bugger had been in pain for a bit.
The EBT got a brain tumor, which shocked me as I hadn't realised the thick muscle bound twat had one. He used to get stuck in corners FFS! It was inoperable and changed his temperament so I had the silly sod put down. Then moved on.
I stay out of the Kennel Club thread as interweb blubbing offends me.
 
Are there any other normal dog owners out there, who take thier dogs for a walk, pick up thier turds
Speak for yourself I leave my dogs shite lying on the pavement in the hope that the scummy cunts who infest the street were my wife lives on trail it in through their benefit funded hovel the dirty druggie bastards.
 

JoeCivvie

ADC
RIP
Speak for yourself I leave my dogs shite lying on the pavement in the hope that the scummy cunts who infest the street were my wife lives on trail it in through their benefit funded hovel the dirty black druggie bastards.

This opens up sooooo many new threads.
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
Speak for yourself I leave my dogs shite lying on the pavement in the hope that the scummy cunts who infest the street were my wife lives on trail it in through their benefit funded hovel the dirty black druggie bastards.

There is nothing funnier than watching someone slip in fresh dog shit. Fucking comedy gold.

I also laugh like fuck at police dog shows on telly when the land shark mauls fuck out of some gobby cunt.


All hail Emperor Mong.
 
Well pay back and all that malarkey. They have umpteen cats that shit in the wifes garden almost daily (she got accused of poisoning one of them the other week) 3 dogs and now two cats to replace the dead un despite it being a council house where they are allowed one pet only. Came home from holiday last year to find their feral brats had been throwing the dog shit from their garden all over the wifes windows and house. So thought fuck it you can trail it in through your house.

Plus I feel no dog shit on the street deprives kids of getting it on a stick and flicking it at the unpopular kids in the area. Thank fuck a few weeks left living next door the the verminous cunts.
 
Threatened to rub their brats nose in it last year only for them to call the plod which was ironic as they deal fuck knows what out the house. Hard to shit on the step as the curtain twitches as soon as you pass by the house.
 
Should I live for a thousand years I will never reach down to pick up dogshit! If I tried I would end up leaving more spew on the pavement than dogshit. the first fall of rain gets rid of it anyway.
 

Dicey

LE
I thought we could perhaps have a thread for people who own dogs but don't run thier lives around thier existance and see them as they are...... a pet.

I've got a black lab. I've had dogs and was upset for a day or two when they rolled a seven, my life however trundled on normally and the hounds passing didnt make me turn to the internet in a griefy cryfest in a cringeworthy and vomitous fashion...blah, blah, wibble, wibble....

Yeah, but you're a cunt.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
Well pay back and all that malarkey. They have umpteen cats that shit in the wifes garden almost daily (she got accused of poisoning one of them the other week) 3 dogs and now two cats to replace the dead un despite it being a council house where they are allowed one pet only. Came home from holiday last year to find their feral brats had been throwing the dog shit from their garden all over the wifes windows and house. So thought fuck it you can trail it in through your house.

Plus I feel no dog shit on the street deprives kids of getting it on a stick and flicking it at the unpopular kids in the area. Thank fuck a few weeks left living next door the the verminous cunts.

Having neither a cat or dog, and one neighbour with 5 cats, another with 2. My garden became cat shit central.

Tried the anti-cat powder, fades after a couple of days. Ultrasonic gizmo's that gobble up six AA batteries a week, and the moment they fail, its open season again.

Then I bought one of these. Thirty quid, uses a 9v battery that lasts months.

71qEU5nCK1L._SL1500_.jpg

It's as funny as fuck in action, already taken three cats that I've watched, clean off the top of the fence. Can be a little sensitive, butterfly's and fat bee's can also catch its attention.
 
I thought we could perhaps have a thread for people who own dogs but don't run thier lives around thier existance and see them as they are...... a pet.

I've got a black lab. I've had dogs and was upset for a day or two when they rolled a seven, my life however trundled on normally and the hounds passing didnt make me turn to the internet in a griefy cryfest in a cringeworthy and vomitous fashion.

Are there any other normal dog owners out there, who take thier dogs for a walk, pick up thier turds, look after them, walk them or are we all wierdos who treat them like children and like to photograph them 40 times a day and post face book up dates telling everyone theyve had a drink of water, eaten a pigs ear or squeezed out a lawn cigar.

Get a grip you barking mad sad fuckwits, its a dog, an animal, yes, you grow attached to them, but they dont live for ever, they die, you move on, not feel suicidal and want the clouds to start squirting 'go to sleep forever juice' all over you.

Cat owners are the same, pack of cunts the lot of them. A bloke that owns cats is even worse, wierd, not wired properly, socially deficient retards. I got up this mornign, let the hound out, walked her round the corner. Not once did I get my camera out, or go 'coochy coochy coo' and speak to it in a homo high pitch camp voice.

Ive purposely kept this away from the kennel club to avoid big blobby sulk tears and letters to the President and the Cat protection league.

Whats the most cringeworthy pet post youve seen?

See you're in full empathy mode again you soppy cunt.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
Having neither a cat or dog, and one neighbour with 5 cats, another with 2. My garden became cat shit central.

Tried the anti-cat powder, fades after a couple of days. Ultrasonic gizmo's that gobble up six AA batteries a week, and the moment they fail, its open season again.

Then I bought one of these. Thirty quid, uses a 9v battery that lasts months.

View attachment 139321

It's as funny as fuck in action, already taken three cats that I've watched, clean off the top of the fence. Can be a little sensitive, butterfly's and fat bee's can also catch its attention.

What is it?


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 
It's a water jet sprayer, with PIR sensor, works at night as well. Connect it up a hose pipe, has a hozelock fitting.

Sprays a diffused jet of water up to 10m, anything from 90 to almost 360 degrees.

[video=youtube_share;mt-C70oeZCI]http://youtu.be/mt-C70oeZCI[/video]
 
He may be a cunt but he didn't murder his dog.

Thts not entirely true mate.

Whilst I am a dog lover I'd like to get an MG34 on a tripod, dress up like an Ubersturmbahnfuhrer and spray a belt of one in one into the bleating lesbians hounds in the kennel thread.

Then wear thier noses as helmet decoration and swim in the tears of thier owners.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
It's a water jet sprayer, with PIR sensor, works at night as well. Connect it up a hose pipe, has a hozelock fitting.

Sprays a diffused jet of water up to 10m, anything from 90 to almost 360 degrees.

[video=youtube_share;mt-C70oeZCI]http://youtu.be/mt-C70oeZCI[/video]

That's fucking delightful.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 
I've got two springer spaniels, one male (2 years old) and a female pup (5 months old).

At the moment Dave (male springer) has taken to casually licking the pup's toilet parts whilst they are relaxing on their shared dog cushion.

I'm tempted to video this canine erotic porno-fest and upload to a "specialist" site for dog lovers but fear that the high pitched whining coming from this site may cause dolphins to miscarry their young.


http://www.arrse.co.uk/arrse-social-events-networking/79590-arrse-kennel-club-dog-owners-thread.html
 

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