Does your fanny fart?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Swamp_Rat, Jul 25, 2007.

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  1. I mean, does it seep air in, and then if you get into a certain position, it seeps out again later and makes a fartish sound?

    If yes, then I have a more scientific question;

    Can you then control the tone and frequency by manipulating your p1ssflaps, thus imitating a vocal chord? Is it worth recording?

    What does a fanny fart smell like, just like a fanny or like a stale fanny?

    I was just sitting here contemplating the mutability of mankind then got sidetracked onto, well, fanny farts. Just curious, that's all.
  2. Swamp Rat. One must conclude, from your post, that, any sexual activity you've enjoyed, has been restricted to the homosexual variety, or that you are a virgin.
  3. I wouldnt say that, have you read some of his posts? he eats clinkers from his missus :|

    But in answer to one of your queries Swamp Rat doggystyle seems to encourage the odd fanny fart in my experience, so if really interested try banging your missus with a few variations then if she blows one out get your head down and have a sniff if you really feel the urge. :worship: :wink: :D
  4. I once had a girlfriend who could blow a candle out with a fanny fart.

    (but don't ask how we found that out! :D )
  5. Well Bovvy I didn't want to reveal any of my (our) own experiences just yet, see. That's why I was asking you.

    I am genuinely curious.

    If it helps, my missus is able to (whilst seated) let rip out the back and you know what that sounds like, then there's sometimes a last little 'squeezed-out' bit that escapes up through the front and has a definite higher pitch. But then that would be more like a crazy, misguided fart, wouldn't it?

    Correct me if I'm wrong because I can't speak from experience, see I don't have the tackle. and there's no way I'm gonna get it lopped off just to find out.

    Which leads me to an interesting aside; does a re-modelled ballbag have the same acoustic value as an organic/homegrown item?
  6. Remarkable. What range? Was a projectile loaded, or?
  7. If , while engaged in drinking the furry cup you lightly blow into the said recepticle, then release, you can get an audible rasp. If you grab fanny lips between forefinger and thumb while doing this, you can also make it change pitch. not unlike letting a balloon knot loose.

    just my thoughts


    (edited to add. No fannies were hurt in the making of this technique.... i think)
  8. ah, so that's what it was!

    Mate, having completed 53 orbits of the sun, I can't move that quick.
  9. I dont know if that is a good idea, sure i have read somewhere, no idea where and why i ended up reading it but it is supposed to be really dangerous to blow into the female fur burger.
  10. nah, done it loads of times. Only ever had one bird explode on me
  11. Well, dearest, my (our) experience is that fanny-farts only occur during sexual activity. I don't recall experiencing that little trick of which your missus is capable. And, yes, it, certainly seems to result from air getting in, which then escapes. I am afraid I have not tried the experiments with p1ss-flaps and pitches. As for smell (well I couldn't say for certain, due to the non-proximity of my nose), but, no, they don't smell, because the air is only in there briefly. And arrse farts only smell because they emerge from ones guts.
  12. Nah ......... I think the percieved problem is blowing up a bloke's c0ck; it may result in an air embolism?
  13. That sounds like what they call a blowback. Leads to the condition 'Nelson's lump', apparently. Not quite a stoop but more like a lump between the shoulders at the base of the neck. Jeez, I shoulda put this on the med & dent forum for technical stuff.

    Anywho, we decided to go practice making some fanny farts in the fashion like how SpannerSpanker described.

    Funny how the fanny farts happen when we sh@g like cats though...
  14. Are you sure the farts are coming from her fanny and not from her arse? I ask because when I first shagged your missus there was no fanny farts, she did however shi't herself. This was perhaps a misguided effort to crack one out. Instead she crimped one off on the back seat of my Hillman Imp and said nothing. I became aware of the foul smell but blamed it on the nearby farm, so I carried on normal jogging, her arse rubbing the coil into the beige 1970s velour. Try and find a new back seat for a Hillman. If you remember she came home that evening covered in shi't with two black eyes.

    It seems fairly conclusive to me that your missus is anally incontinent when aroused. I suggest you squeeze a tube of Hylomar up her arse routinely during all future foreplay. Thats what I do!
  15. I remember a few years back watching a porn movie called "Amber the Queefing lesbian"

    Queefing is the American word for a Fanny Fart, and IIRC she could do it on command!

    Also had a student on one of my courses who coughed that she could fanny cough on demand.

    And could.

    And No. I didn't.