Does wanking really help

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Ciggie, Feb 24, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. a hangover, or should I just have a cup of tea ?
  2. Wanking someone else off?
  3. Bacon sandwich, mug of lucozade and a wank is the standard treatment I believe.
  4. I prefer wanking with the bacon sandwich, whilst squatting on the lucasade bottle
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Thats a good start, but what is really needed is a full Irish/English/Australian breakfast with black pudding, a large bloody Mary and a BJ from a passing gook bar girl.*

    * Not necessarily in that order.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Wanking increases your immune system. Thats why the good die young and all the wankers survive.
  7. Thanks chaps !!! No Locozade round here, but I found an ice-cold Stella in the posted is cool, but I still have a hankerimg for a hand-shandy ... I need to see a doctor....female, white uniform , aaaaaargh
  8. A prossie in a nurse outfit should suffice.
  9. Push a wire coat hanger in a plug hole, will sort you right out.
  10. Wot if 'e shuvs it int top hole?
  11. Actually all I need now is a woman who will lick up the bits, get me another can and put the breakfast in the skillet. The wife will be back from work in two hours...lazy cunt.
  12. Is she a street walker?
  13. Sort of. She's like one of those council brushes on wheels....walks down a street and all the trash fear.
  14. Full English breakfast and a couple of cans of Irn Bru should set you right.