Does no-one go away for the weekend these days?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Letterwritingman, Mar 13, 2004.

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  1. After the recent excitement re TURP and GUNNY's respective weekend(s?) away and even more so my shopping trip to Basingstoke; I ask what has happened to you arrses? Do you not do anything exciting anymore? C'mon someone must have done a gobby boiled egg in one go?? 8O
  2. A point you have to remember is that many of us have had a "singleyectomy", therefore removing the ability to randomly go off whoring at a weekend.

    I have found that since my singleyectomy, several things have caused me painful symptoms

    1. The discovery of opened condom packets in ones jeans by the cause of your singleyectomy can cause severe ear pain and in extreme circumstances, severe Pan Rash.

    2. The expenditure required for continuous "weekends out" can have the same effect as point 1.

    3. The missus is NOT impressed by stories of how you and your mate pulled some whore down "stickies" and then double teamed her in the Asda car park.

    4. It is incredibly difficult to remember all the methods of hiding your previous tracks at 5 in the morning. This list has to include disposing of open condom packets, removing discriminating stains from the front of your clothes, disposing of any acquired scraps of paper that may include female names and / or telephone numbers, deleting the entire call history in your mobile, liberally coating yourself with your aftershave of choice to remove the smell of the other birds perfume ("poison" is the one my missus always spots), washing of the todger even if you were switched on enough to rubber up - the missus tasting Dunlop on the old man on the off chance that you get an early morning gobble is a dead give away and finally, not forgetting that it's your missus in your house and not one of the boys from the block - running back in shouting "you should have seen this sl&g I did up the sh1tter" does not go down to well
  3. Errrrrrmmmmm,..... I'm going away next weekend! :roll:
  4. Yep, but if you came back in shouting "you should have seen this sl&g I did up the sh1tter", I'd be really impressed and mildly aroused
  5. Thank-you Aunty for your instructive, informative and educational text which I feel most of our "Shagging Colleagues" will have noted. Sp anyone -else doing anything exciting other than ........well unusual would be in my opinion the Worlds FIRST Cloned Sheep.....and lets face it ...Dolly was a TART!!
  6. So safe to assume then no-one is doing anything this weekend :(
  7. I shall be departing Manchester around 3pm this afternoon for a night of merriment in Southport if that helps? Anyone wishing to buy me a pint will find me propping up the jackpot machine in the Scarsbrook Hotel around 10pm. Look for bloke in pee stained trousers. Tomorrow I'm in Manchester City Centre to watch the St Pats Day parade (complete with Bertie Ahern !), then I'm off to the local to have a hair of the poodle and to watch Manchester City shiit all over United !! Then I'll partake in smashing up the pub, which is the usual ritual after a derby !!
  8. Wow can I come..................oh wrong thread sorry 8O


    today it's the pub lunch ritual, then the Southbank tomorrow to bond and reclaim my roots from th emasses of Paddy's!!!!!

    Top of the morning to you!!!!

    BG did i say I'm EXCITED??????????????
    and we might be adding another body to the party!!!!!!
  10. Ah the Scarisbrick Hotel! What was that dodgy club called? West End or something? Many a happy night.......
  11. Bert I feel you have too much on your hands mate :D
  12. i don't need to go away for the weekend. Iv spent the day sunning myself semi-naked on my balcony in 30 deg heat. Ahh the joys of summer.

    last night in the local cocktail bar was interesting, lots of p!ssed up new boys thinking they were sh!t hot, but failing misserably. I really should start to lower my standards!!
  13. and ive been on the balcony opposite watching her, i too am also semi naked (from the waist down) :oops:
  14. Turp you need to get that seen to me duck..... theres a clinic in Belgrave that could help you in no time.... :wink: