Does housecleaning make me gay?

Does cleaning a house make a bloke a raving poof?

  • No - Perfectly hetrosexual male thing to do

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You're a woman - go make my dinner b*tch

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
I'm currently preparing to move out of my current house, and to make sure I get my deposit back I'm cleaning like a madman.

I'm washing down walls, cleaning skirting, hoovering and dusting everything in every single room (my housemates failed to do their own rooms effectively). It's a 4 bedroomed house.

Generally I'd think this was normal, hetrosexual behaviour to make sure £350 of beer tokens are returned to their rightful owner (me). However I'm starting to enjoy it a bit too much. I'm taking pride in the cleanliness, you can smell the fresh air, wipe any surface with a white glove and generally everything is hunky dory. I've even dived behind the cooker - taking on furry beasts the like of which man has never seen. This sudden enjoyment and pride has me concerned that I am indeed a poof - or a woman. Which is it?

On a side note this kind of housework is far harder than any BPFA etc, I'm sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop, my arms and back are knackered. A suggestion for the MoD is that instead of 44 press ups you should now be made to hoover an eight metres squared room in under 2 minutes with one of those crappy henry things - including moving two sofas.
 
#2
Having steamcleaned every place I've rented from top to toe as it was not up to scratch, I would say, no, cleaning does not make one a fudge nudger - I will not live in other's muck!

I am, however, perfectly happy to live in my own muck, fcuk the deposit, don't pay the last month's rent and move out flat uncleaned for the next sod to rent!

Therefore, cleaning on moving out is gay and you are, old bean, a marigold-wearing fudge nudger!

:lol:
 
#3
Hey, Crabby. I only meant to say I enjoyed your posts!!!!!! I wasn't asking you to move in with me. I bet your star sign's Virgo, if you're into cleaning.
 
#4
BergenBob said:
Having steamcleaned every place I've rented from top to toe as it was not up to scratch, I would say, no, cleaning does not make one a fudge nudger - I will not live in other's muck!

I am, however, perfectly happy to live in my own muck, fcuk the deposit, don't pay the last month's rent and move out flat uncleaned for the next sod to rent!

Therefore, cleaning on moving out is gay and you are, old bean, a marigold-wearing fudge nudger!

:lol:
LOL

perhaps that's why the cnuts made us pay quarterly then? Can't really withhold a month's rent when you're paying three at once :(
 
#6
That's not nearly man enough Flash you testicle chomping poof.

Crabby - Find a woman, and beat her until she agrees to clean your house for you.
 
#7
Your housemates obviously think you're a pansy: they fark orff to the pub whilst you clean and because you've cleaned they get their (monetary) deposits back too? SUCKER! :p :D
 
#9
DozyBint said:
Your housemates obviously think you're a pansy: they fark orff to the pub whilst you clean and because you've cleaned they get their (monetary) deposits back too? SUCKER! :p :D
They're women and they're generally lazy cnuts. I've spent most of this year nagging, cleaning, refusing to clean and generally throwing my teddy out of the pram when the toilet went uncleaned for 2 months. Oh and they've farked off home. I am a sucker but I also want MY deposit back and luckily I never have to live with any of them ever again :twisted:

(incidently I just found a spoon underneath the television stand, bottle tops off bottles of vodka behind the phone, tv, router and in the bill tray. I thought it was only me with a drinking problem!!!)
 
#10
crabby said:
BergenBob said:
Having steamcleaned every place I've rented from top to toe as it was not up to scratch, I would say, no, cleaning does not make one a fudge nudger - I will not live in other's muck!

I am, however, perfectly happy to live in my own muck, fcuk the deposit, don't pay the last month's rent and move out flat uncleaned for the next sod to rent!

Therefore, cleaning on moving out is gay and you are, old bean, a marigold-wearing fudge nudger!

:lol:
LOL

perhaps that's why the cnuts made us pay quarterly then? Can't really withhold a month's rent when you're paying three at once :(
REAL men pay monthly! Not only are you GAY, but you're heading for gender reasignment too I'm affraid......
 
#13
The Lord Flasheart said:
Mods, is there any way to send threads straight to Rear Party?



Man the fuck up crabby and pay some bint to do it.

I doubt flashy knows what house cleaning is lol

Crabby well done at last there is a guy who gets down to it :D
 
#15
Nothing wrong with cleaning when the aim of the game is to get that magic $350 (no pounds sign sorry) deposit back! Many a beer to be had with that, or you could waste it on something sensible like food or rent etc!

One observation/ trick i have tried and seems to work, have your place nice and clean when new girlfriend comes round, and she thinks what a nice liberated, domesticated and modern man you are, and then she spends more time at your place/ moves in and she does all the cleaning and does not notice that all you do is a token effort here and there to look like you care, but she gets on with it and does such a good job at it, would be a shame to stop her! So you dont have to clean like a maniac all the time and you then dont feel like a big poofter!
 
#16
Crabby, there is nowt gay about cleaning, I do all the house work and cooking of meals, I also have a part time job as well as my full time profession. Cheaper than going to the gym and the girlfriend always rewards me every night. You are doing the right thing. Good on yer mate>.
 
#17
Doing housework is fine, its just another form of admin, nasty but neccessary, enjoying it is another matter. I could afford a cleaner, but I'm just a prole at heart, and I'm not comfortable with the idea. My solution is to treat it as a workout, crank up the music (Motorhead, not Gloria Gaynor) and blitz the place at the double. After two hours, the place is gleaming, and I'm breathing out of my ar$e. If however, you find yourself wearing a pinny and singing along to "The Weather Girls" on the radio, its time to hurl yourself in front of a bus before you start taking an unhealthy interest in the paperboy.
 
#18
doctrine said:
The Lord Flasheart said:
Mods, is there any way to send threads straight to Rear Party?



Man the fuck up crabby and pay some bint to do it.

I doubt flashy knows what house cleaning is lol

Crabby well done at last there is a guy who gets down to it :D
Knowing that I now have the full support of doctrine I see no option other than to remove my testicles and serve them with a light white sauce to a hungry frenchman, shove a large vegetable up my "out hole" and then slit my wrists whilst in the bath.

I had the score to Clockwork Orange on when I was cleaning? Is that a viable alternative to motorhead?
 
#19
Crabby,

Have you ever actually served with the Military and occupied a quarter? It doesn't sound like it to me. It isn't so bad these days as you can sensibly pay a swarthy collection of Albanians to come and do a very poor job at it, but back in the "old days" when you had Estate Wardens who checked the cleanliness of the Garden Shed lock internals with a cotton bud (and yes that is true) cleanliness was sacrosanct. There is a difference in that and moaning about wiping the Blu Tak marks off the wall that held up your Neds Atomic Dustbin poster. You don't even know you are born.
 

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