Doctors, fcukign clueless

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Mar 11, 2007.

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  1. I'm no doctor but I should be....

    I wouldn't need a prescription book that noone else could decipher I wouldn't need a stethascope or a box of lolly sticks for your tongue, no need to rummage round your lugs or stare in your eyes.... (I'd keep the reflex hammer because thats always entertaining)

    I generally self diagnose and have come up with a cure for most things.


    its sorts everything and the symptons of whatever is wrong with you soon pale into insignificance as your beef repeater approaches climax.

    It cures boredom, tension, pain, in fact there isn't a lot a right good handy shandy doesn't sort out.

    If your day is bad, your DDs are bouncing, gaffer on your back, Mrs bending your ear, manflu crippling you, granny burping up blood on your carpet... simply go the bedroom, bog, back of car, somewhere relatively quiet and start cradling your wand.

    I'm setting up a practice on Harley st, my fees will be expensive but as a freebie to Arrsers, don't book an appointment (for two reasons)

    1. Most of you are cnuts and I don't want to meet you
    2. I'm only going to tell you to go for a tug

    I offer an example.... little one woke me up at 05:45 and wouldn't let me go to sleep again.. I put Wonderpets on and retreat to the office... perched myself in the comfy chair, closed my eyes and pictured a gorgeous blonde knelt between my legs baby oiling my dome and asking me to put it in her bottom.... cured my rattyness, got rid of the early morning snivels, made me ignore the fact that it was the middle of the night..... and the little one got her days intake of protein.

    W@nking, its big and clever, free and aids recovery, prevents injury (danger w@nks excluded)

    Should be legalised!
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    You must be really bored (as well as really boring!)
  3. Whilst i agree with what you say, i've found that exercising the wnak doctors orders in a public place, the excuse "Its alright, me gout is giving me gip" just doesnt wash as you rain a money shot over innocently shopping pensioners.
  4. I'd been reading this masterpeice (clicky)

    Nothign to say or contribute, get your fragile bones elderly frame off to the Arrsehole?
  5. Don't even suggest such a thing because:-

    1. It's free so the NHS will prescribe it for everything from piles to cancer.

    2. It's free so Gordon Brown will tax it as a private healthcare benefit.

    A double vodka and warm milk at bed time will sort that. She'll sleep till noon.
  6. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    YAWN :sleepy: same old, same old.............................
  7. .........................same old, same old fucking Jock wino with an impotence problem.
  8. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Do us all a favour, crawl back into the woodwork and hibernate again.
  9. Do us all a favour and have a massive, deep fried mars bar caused coronary. You wino cnut.
  10. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    This is GREAT. :headbang: :elephant: Biting like fcuk and I am not even having to try. I think this is going to be a good Sunday
  11. Not biting, your just a tiresome old troll...

    Probably better just to delete you, instead we'll watch you make a cnut of yourself.....again.

    You intending adding anything of relevance?
  12. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    OOoooohhhh. Is this MDN with his famous I am really a MOD and I can do things to your post when I come back as Porridge Gun? Cnut.
  13. Whatever it takes to deal with trolling w@nkers?

    you going to add anything, only the third time I've asked

    troll. I have never doctored your posts ( i don't think) you make enough of a tw@t of yourself unaided