I'm no doctor but I should be.... I wouldn't need a prescription book that noone else could decipher I wouldn't need a stethascope or a box of lolly sticks for your tongue, no need to rummage round your lugs or stare in your eyes.... (I'd keep the reflex hammer because thats always entertaining) I generally self diagnose and have come up with a cure for most things. Wanking! its sorts everything and the symptons of whatever is wrong with you soon pale into insignificance as your beef repeater approaches climax. It cures boredom, tension, pain, in fact there isn't a lot a right good handy shandy doesn't sort out. If your day is bad, your DDs are bouncing, gaffer on your back, Mrs bending your ear, manflu crippling you, granny burping up blood on your carpet... simply go the bedroom, bog, back of car, somewhere relatively quiet and start cradling your wand. I'm setting up a practice on Harley st, my fees will be expensive but as a freebie to Arrsers, don't book an appointment (for two reasons) 1. Most of you are cnuts and I don't want to meet you 2. I'm only going to tell you to go for a tug I offer an example.... little one woke me up at 05:45 and wouldn't let me go to sleep again.. I put Wonderpets on and retreat to the office... perched myself in the comfy chair, closed my eyes and pictured a gorgeous blonde knelt between my legs baby oiling my dome and asking me to put it in her bottom.... cured my rattyness, got rid of the early morning snivels, made me ignore the fact that it was the middle of the night..... and the little one got her days intake of protein. W@nking, its big and clever, free and aids recovery, prevents injury (danger w@nks excluded) Should be legalised!