Doctor Selection 3

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by LazyCaretaker, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. 'Doctor, doctor! My small son has just swallowed a roll of film.'
    'Don't worry. Let him rest a bit and we'll wait and see what develops.'

    Since I had treatment by a private doctor I've lost five kilos in weight. The doctor's bill was so enormous I've been unable to afford to buy any food to eat.

    Last Tuesday I was in the doctor's waiting room and a young man came in with an expensive watch for the doctor.
    'Thank you, thank you, thank you!' said the man, giving the doctor the expensive watch. 'This is a small token of my thanks for all your excellent treatment of my uncle.'
    'But he died last week.' said the doctor.
    'I know,; replied the young man. 'Thanks to your treatment I've just inherited five million pounds.'

    What did the vampire doctor shout out in his waiting room?
    'Necks please!'

    Patient: 'Doctor, I want to stop pulling funny faces.'
    Doctor: 'Why?'
    Patient: 'Because the ugly people don't like it when I pull their faces.'

    When my mother-in-law went to the doctor and complained that her nose runs and her feet smell, he said: 'I'm not surprised. You were made upside down.'

    The woman went to see the doctor. She had a large flower growing out of the top of her head.
    The doctor looked at the flower and said: 'That is quite remarkable. I've never seen anything like that before. But I'll soon cut it off.'
    'Cut it off?' snapped the woman. 'I don't want the flower cut off. I just want it treated against greenfly.'