Do you swallow?

Thought I’d share this.

I’m working in Holland at the moment and yesterday was struck down with a cold. Obviously, had I been a woman, it wouldn’t have affected me so much, but being a weakling male, I got back to my hotel room, had a very hot shower, downed a large whisky and went to bed. After a substantially sleepless night, I missed out on breakfast and went to the local shopping centre to wait for the chemist to open.

After vainly scanning the shelves for a familiar max strength cold relief, I caught the attention of the assistant. “Have you got anything for a cold?” I asked. As all the Dutch seem to speak English, I didn’t think that this would be too difficult to understand. Thinking back, “Hab do god eddytig foe code?” probably stumped her.

I resorted to miming, all the while thinking back to the 70’s Army advert which depicted a soldier miming a chicken while trying to scrounge an egg from a German farmeress. I haven’t had so much fun since I mimed “antihistamines” in a German chemist.

The assistant came up with a packet of tablets and said “Influenza.” Being aware that in her situation, I’d have handed over a packet of anal suppositories and had a good laugh afterwards, I checked the list of ingredients. Paracetamol, caffeine and Vitamin C. Sounds just the job.

I paid her and dashed back to the hotel to get some water to help me swallow them when a thought came to mind. Can I swallow them or do they have to be dissolved? I looked at the instructions (all in Dutch) and identified that the dosage was 2-4 tablets per some word that I couldn’t translate, with a maximum of 12 tablets per another word that I didn’t recognise. The word “water” was in there somewhere, but I couldn’t work out whether it was “take with water” or “dissolve in water.”

No problem. I’ll ask the girl on the hotel reception. I held the packet out with my finger on the instructions and asked “Do you swallow?” As the last word left my lips, I realised what I’d just asked. When she replied “Yes,” I couldn’t resist but ask “And the tablets?”
Puttees,that was rather a very daft question.
You had to know that all Dutch women swallow.or is that just my imagination

Did she get that twinkle in her eyes when you asked her? :p
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