Do You Need Help from 'The Love Factory'?

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by lovefactory, May 23, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:


    This brand new series is all about relationship problems and sex.

    We will cover a wide range of issues and our world class team of experts will give advice to help resolve your sex and relationship dilemmas whatever they may be.

    If you are single or in a couple, gay or straight, young or old we want to hear from you!

    Or call or text 07580 706 957
    Or join TheLoveFactory Mentorn
  2. *despatches office gimp to fetch brew, breaks out the chocolate and eagerly awaits HCV's query*
    • Like Like x 1
  3. My other half isn't spreading as often as I'd like.
    What do you suggest, Chloroform or roofies?
    • Like Like x 2
  4. is it right that my wife can get pregnant just by sharing my bath water if i've had a **** in it?

    Oh and does her going to the sunbed every tuesday explain why my son came out black?

    Serious responses only please.

    • Like Like x 2
  5. Dear Love factory,
    Can you kindly supply me with some barely legal teenage boys as my boyfriend is frigid.
    thanks kindly.
  6. I am having trouble "keeping it up" when I scuttle Ms DN. Partly becaus my feet are cold and partly because when she bends down it goes dark early. I have bought slippers to help my feet. Can you suggest a good adhesive so I can stick attractive pictures of girlies on her bum? They keep falling off
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Love Factory!!!! ,is it a sweat shop?.....
  8. She spreads alright for me and the rest of the lads ?
  9. Dear love factory,

    Can you recommend a good brand of hacksaw? The prostitute's, late night shelf stackers and lone females in general that I've been raping and 'cleansing' have a horrid habit of filling to with gas and bobbing to the surface of my local canal. As you can imagine this is causing me no end of problems as I really can't be arsed to drag their corpses to a fast running stream to cover up DNA.

    What I'm looking for is something I can run straight up the centre of them so they fill with water and stay down.

  10. When did you get age-fussy?? You've been trying to get up my eldest's love-bunker since he was 14!!!
  11. Can't be too careful these days. Is he legal yet?
  12. he's 17 next too old for you now, you old scutter!!
  13. hmm he'll do.
  14. Sex?! On ARRSE?! Say it isn't so...

    What are you wearing?
    • Like Like x 1
  15. L_J

    L_J Swinger

    the love factory is a gay club in melbourne australia... i sense a intruder