Do you know anyone called Jacob?

Quote from North Yorkshire's finest: "Police are appealing for anyone who can help identify those responsible, in particular, anyone who uses the name Jacob.............."

If you are called Jacob, Jake, Jakey etc... you know your'e guilty - do the right think and hand yourself in now.... unless of course your'e black... why oh why did we get the dumbest cops on earth? I see a completely new TV series: The World's Dumbest Cops!

Just imagine the defence lawyer: So, PC Plodster, why did you arrest my client?

Plodster: "We acted on a tip off."

Lawyer: "Was that before you acted like a completely dumb arrsed cnut of after?"

Plodster: "I don't understand the question."

Lawyer: "I bet you don't."

Appeal after damage caused to Whitby Abbey - North Yorkshire Police

Fucking idiots of the highest order!

Next week they're looking for some bloke with a local accent FFS.
New Jake Alert: North Yorkshire Police are now seeking a three legged man with straight hair, curly teeth who is known to walk with a stutter. This new information came to light following reliable leads discovered online. A spokesperson for North Yorkshire's finest said: "...Didledidledidledum..."


Book Reviewer
l've got a jacob near me - he's 5 so will he pass the height restrictions for full sutton prison?
PC Melanie Smith, of Whitby Safer Neighbourhood Team, said: "I'm delighted to be transferred to Northern Ireland, with my unmistakeable nose for resolving crime and my unusual ability for identifying suspects, I expect to clean up all of the crime there in a couple of hours."

I'm up there tonight, gonna spray the names: Dave, John, Mike, Pete...... no doubt cause a denial of service attack on their phones after tomorrows press release.

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