Do you know anyone called Jacob?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BanjoBill, Mar 11, 2013.

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  1. Quote from North Yorkshire's finest: "Police are appealing for anyone who can help identify those responsible, in particular, anyone who uses the name Jacob.............."

    If you are called Jacob, Jake, Jakey etc... you know your'e guilty - do the right think and hand yourself in now.... unless of course your'e black... why oh why did we get the dumbest cops on earth? I see a completely new TV series: The World's Dumbest Cops!

    Just imagine the defence lawyer: So, PC Plodster, why did you arrest my client?

    Plodster: "We acted on a tip off."

    Lawyer: "Was that before you acted like a completely dumb arrsed cnut of after?"

    Plodster: "I don't understand the question."

    Lawyer: "I bet you don't."

    Appeal after damage caused to Whitby Abbey - North Yorkshire Police

    Fucking idiots of the highest order!

    Next week they're looking for some bloke with a local accent FFS.
  2. The twat drinks in the Board Inn at the bottom of the steps.
  3. This afternoon they're going to post his second name, just to make sure even the worst lawyer on earth can get him off.
  4. One thing for sure, need to frame some cnut you don't like in North Yorkshire... just paint his name on a church. Job jobbed!
  5. .
    Does he have straight hair, curly teeth and walks with a stutter?
  6. That's him. Drives a trawler called: Hook line and sinker... with a tow bar on the front.
  7. New Jake Alert: North Yorkshire Police are now seeking a three legged man with straight hair, curly teeth who is known to walk with a stutter. This new information came to light following reliable leads discovered online. A spokesperson for North Yorkshire's finest said: "...Didledidledidledum..."
  8. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    l've got a jacob near me - he's 5 so will he pass the height restrictions for full sutton prison?
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Just remember this. If you have information that you know the Police are asking for and you do not tell them. Your'e no better than any cnut called Jacob.
  10. I know jacobhes a bit crackers and lives across the road from one of the scaley units in Liverpool
  11. PC Melanie Smith, of Whitby Safer Neighbourhood Team, said: "I'm delighted to be transferred to Northern Ireland, with my unmistakeable nose for resolving crime and my unusual ability for identifying suspects, I expect to clean up all of the crime there in a couple of hours."

  12. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    looks like someone may have been night hawking as well.
  13. Scaley units in Liverpool?

    FFS, one can only imagine that blerb. Hey hey rkid owver, what's to wi you owver? Hey hey mi tart owver.

    Surely you mean scary units?
  14. Did you have a particular twat in mind, or do you just want to finger any twat?