Do You (in a minor way) Buck The System At Work?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by George_Boots, Jan 30, 2006.

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  1. Its really pointless & childish, but it makes me feel good - the green t-shirt I wear for work does not bear the name of any Op Tour I have been on, any previous posting I have had, any major exercise I have been on.

    No - It bears the name of my favourite band. From the outside I look the model soldier, under my shirt - IM A ROCKER!!!

    Come on you ex RCT types - confess to wearing your old RCT stable belts under your combat jackets.

    For the record, its a Cinerama T-Shirt.
  2. Phew! I can hear the strains of "Wild Thing" in the background.............GB, you are living life on the edge.
    I suppose my penchant for wearing full rig under my combats is mild by comparison...........
  3. Rickshaw - like I said, it is really pointless & childish - just enables me to walk round feeling a little bit smug with myself. Wearing full rig under your combats - well thats another thing entirely.
  4. True. True. It does tend to silence conversation in the changing room before going out for a run at lunchtime........
  5. Does a butt plug count.
    Er, not that I do, it's a bloke at work you see, er
  6. Nope,

    I respect my supervisors and seek to carry out all tasks allotted to me in a timely and efficient manner whilst having due regard for the sensitivities all anyone whom I may encounter whilst about my lawful occasions....

  7. It's a very important, sanity maintaining device, to get small ones over on the bosses.

    I make it a point of principle to never defecate during my lunch break. Even if it's pushing me off the canteen seat, i'll happily bake a turd, until the minute hand of the clock creaks past 1pm. I can then sh-it to my hearts content, safe in the knowledge that each breather ring brings me another 5 minutes closer to hometime.

    As BA Baracus once said,

    "I piddy tha fool, who don't take his sh-its in da firm's time"
  8. Phew, I'm not the only one then. I always make a point to have a sh1t before I leave as well, even if I don't need one, I force a bit out. No point sh1tting in your own time.
  9. I don't see the point of
    a) sh1iting in MY time
    b) wasting MY water (and other toilet consumables)
    c) using MY toilet paper

    I get few enough perks as it is, need to make the most of the facilites!

    I could expand this by the same logic of why should i screw my wife in my time when i can screw the seceratery in work time. (obvioulsy this would never happen as Im happily married and the seceratery is a moose old enough to be my grandmother!!)

  10. A good point has been raised here. Logging on work time.
    I don't even cack during the weekends or in the evening at home. Like convoy, I don't log in lunchtimes either.
    Maybe this explains why I never take a holiday. Personally 2 weeks is the longest I can hold in a turkey without some form of chemical or medical assistance. The 2 weekers normally get stuck half way, at which point I have to wrap the jammed turd in bog paper, thus forming a rudimentary pistol grip, and use the hand assist to drag the bugger out.
    It would kill a straight man.
  11. toilet breaks should always be carried out during work time and i can be regularly be seen carryiny a water bottle to make the most of it.
    That and my nato green t-shirt with a dog licking it's own arrse with the slogan " I can't believe it's not butter"
  12. Mr T said that? Wow!
  13. Only last Thursday I got gripped by the boss. It was ten to one and I was back at my desk. He was surprised to see me there before one o clock and even more surprised to see me knocking out knees to the chest like a good 'un.

    "What the bl-oody hell are you doing, Convoy."

    Without breaking stride, I informed him.

    "An old army trick boss. You know that cardboard compacting skip out the back of the compound?"


    "This does the same job. The action compresses the turd back into the colon. When it comes out, it's like chewing tobacco. If I don't knock out another 40, I may have to have a shizer in my own time."

    He walked off muttering. He was either horrified by my actions or disorientated from the little, one-cheek-sneaks I was letting off with each rep.

    As for BA Baracas, Gunny, he was a real pavement philosopher and could always be counted on, to dispense street-sense when it was needed.

    My favourite episode was when he got leathered in the NAAFI at Fallingbostel and started bezzering Hannibal.

    "Hannibal, I love you, man, an I piddy tha' fool that says owt different. (he always lapsed into a strong Yorkshire accent when beered up.) But if you try and put me on a plane again, a'll fookin have thee."
  14. Further to Mr Ts cacking wisdom, in the director's cut of Rocky III when Clubber Lang offers out Rocky, he actually says.
    "Come on, Balboa. I'll fight you anytime, but you better be making it quick sucker, cuz I need a crap real bad, and I aint takin me no log in no work time. Damn, I knew I shudda had me a turd before PT. Hurry up, fool, I be prairy doggin'."
  15. For the past two years I have been religiously stealing stuff from work and giving it away. I also always take a three hour lunch break and took great pleasure in missing work several times in order to watch the Lions tour of New Zealand. I have also been thrashing my company van and making a nonsense of its fuel economy figures with poor clutch control and the speed I drive it at.

    Imagine my surprise then when my wife reminded me that I own 50% of the company and that I am the CEO too. Was my face red...but luckily we all saw the funny side.