Do you get your own bathroom in the officer's mess

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Rather Worried, May 8, 2011.

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  1. Hello everybody,

    I am thinking of applying for a commission.

    I would just like to know if you get your own bathroom in the officer's mess or are facilities shared?

    Thanks for your advice in advance.
  2. No, Yes, Sometimes
    • Like Like x 1
  3. might do might not.
  4. Usually. But anyway you will have a batman to help you dress.
  5. Why? Are you worried you might have to get the end with the taps?
    • Like Like x 1
  6. rampant

    rampant LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    No more bathrooms, or batmen due to cutbacks: however there is the new issue "Dwarf mit Toothbrush" for phallic/vaginal hygiene, I believe the Cav are being issued Deaf-Mutes.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Join the RAF: they get their own hotels.
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Guns

    Guns LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. The Royal Navy

    If you get a single cabin you will have a sink. This can cover all the requirements that one needs a bathroom for.
  9. I beg to differ. I used to find trying to shove turds through the small holes in the plug hole extremely tedious.
    • Like Like x 4
  10. You just need to run them through a mouli-grater or potato ricer.
  11. I remember pooing (by accident) in a brand new type z block shower... took forever to scudge all the bits of lime pickle through the 4mm diameter holes in the plug... took it off in the end.

    To the OP. If this sort of t hing is an issue, may I consider you choose another vocation. Because I can tell you for sure you wont get en suite on tour.
  12. My husband recommends porridge. The Scottish "dish", (for want of a better expression) not the Arrse Moderator. Keeps things flowing freely.

    Not recommended if you are suffering from a particularly forceful cough, however.

  13. Waste of time; if they're really hard and solid, you can slice them up on a mandolin, and flick them one slice at a time out of the window.
  14. There are two types of officer - those that piss in their sink, and those that lie about it
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Now I have an en-suite shower room complete with toilet, I no longer piss in the sink. I do, however, piss in the shower at night/when shiters, as it is a much bigger target.