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Do you get your own bathroom in the officer's mess

Hello everybody,

I am thinking of applying for a commission.

I would just like to know if you get your own bathroom in the officer's mess or are facilities shared?

Thanks for your advice in advance.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Usually. But anyway you will have a batman to help you dress.
No more bathrooms, or batmen due to cutbacks: however there is the new issue "Dwarf mit Toothbrush" for phallic/vaginal hygiene, I believe the Cav are being issued Deaf-Mutes.


Book Reviewer
If you get a single cabin you will have a sink. This can cover all the requirements that one needs a bathroom for.
I beg to differ. I used to find trying to shove turds through the small holes in the plug hole extremely tedious.
I remember pooing (by accident) in a brand new type z block shower... took forever to scudge all the bits of lime pickle through the 4mm diameter holes in the plug... took it off in the end.

To the OP. If this sort of t hing is an issue, may I consider you choose another vocation. Because I can tell you for sure you wont get en suite on tour.
My husband recommends porridge. The Scottish "dish", (for want of a better expression) not the Arrse Moderator. Keeps things flowing freely.

Not recommended if you are suffering from a particularly forceful cough, however.

Waste of time; if they're really hard and solid, you can slice them up on a mandolin, and flick them one slice at a time out of the window.
There are two types of officer - those that piss in their sink, and those that lie about it
Now I have an en-suite shower room complete with toilet, I no longer piss in the sink. I do, however, piss in the shower at night/when shiters, as it is a much bigger target.
I had a crap like a flock of sparrows this morning and I fear that things will not improve any time soon as I am eating the remains of last nights ruby now.
Three types. Don't forget those who piss in somebody else's sink.
Four. There are also those too short to piss in the sink without using a step-ladder. Which we are, of course, forbidden to use because we haven't done the 3-week "Safe Use of Step-Ladders" training course.

Yes, you could also stand on your laundry bin, batman or dwarf, but by that point it is actually easier to walk to the bogs.