Yesterday morning I overslept! (Substitute overslept for a quick tug before Mrs 57 woke up) I went for my normal morning dump, had to rush it because I was running late. I don't think I have ever used as much toilet roll. Each wipe was muddier than the last. Once I had completed damage limitation I managed to make work 10 minutes late. Last night however, on arriving home, I went for my early evening, chilled out, time out, dump and it came out like a torpedo! On wiping and the natural instinct of inspection kicked in I noted that paper was clean. This left me with no excuse to sit and ponder. This leads to the question. Do turds know when you are on time constraints and adjust themselves accordingly?