Do they have these shows in the UK?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aleegee1698, Oct 17, 2011.

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  1. FFS, do they have these fucking shows in the UK, "Farmer seeks Wife" or "Desperately seeking Daughter-in-law"?

    Germany s taken the reason not to switch on your telly to a new level. Check out these fuckin Mongs (no wonder they re single), 6 weeks of pure romantic fingers down the throat.

    Check out Uwe, a Pig-farmer (who d of thunked it?):

    Bauer sucht Frau | Uwe - der sanfte Schweinebauer -

    I think he d get cunt-struck on any Sow. Any Arrseresses needing hitching, please apply.

    Then we ve got this Cunt-struck Mong in "Desperately seeking Daughter-in-law", he d known her 2 weeks and managed to leave his seed in her (it) (Adolf Hitler was right):

    Marco, der brave Niedersachse -

    I dunno, after watching this, lets just hope that the CERN in Switzerland does manage to create a Back-hole or Anti-matter, I volunteer to be sucked into it first.

  2. Just be grateful you dont get Jeremy fcuking Kyle! Still got tutti Frutti to look forward to?
  3. Yes something very similar airs in East Anglia. Its called Brother seeks Sister. Its a spin-off of another hugely successful show called Father seeks Daughter who seeks Mother who seeks Son.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. There is, I am told*, at least one similar program here called 'Farmer Wants A Wife' or some such. A TV reviewer promptly renamed it 'Hick Wants A Cook', which is much closer to the truth. If there was more of that sort of thing, perhaps less of this brain-pureeing tripe would be inflicted on us.

    *I don't watch TV, largely because of dross like this.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    On the odd times I've been in Germany the TV is indeed very very strange - but hey just get Torrent and d/l what takes your fancy - atm I am following Walking Dead Season 2 - first episode in the states 12 hours ago, Terra Nova, Boardwalk Empire Season 2 and Sons of Anrchy Season 4.
  6. I was subjected to Jeremy on a 2 yr "posting" to the UK, and that Black-hole didnt evolve then............

    Tutti-frutti is no longer in the Wank-bank, I think the interweb has superseded womens nipples cloaked with a fruity sticker

    Oh well
  7. 'minds me of a great line from a contract shepherd on telly a few years ago " I was missing a lot of business because I was not there to answer the phone, thought I'd have to get married - but I bought an answerphone instead."
  8. How did you know I come from Ipswich?
  9. I fuckin knew it, you twisted pig fucker..........Oh hang on, wrong thread :)

    You owe me moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  10. And who gives a fuck about a few shit shows, they still have porn on RTL!!!!!!
  11. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    I'm thinking of pitching Pikey seeks lay bye to Ch 5
    I've already got Basildon Council to sponser it.
  12. You need to get out more, maybe if I actually did give you that tenner back you could fool your missus into "you taking the dog for a drag"

    But I fear you would spend the tenner on Aldi Speshul Broo and beat the wife again, so you re not getting the tenner back.......................
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Of the two examples of German TV Lonely Hearts programming posted I can't make up my mind as to which is the most nausea inducing - the pig farmer with the bad teeth or the turtle fancier with bad intent. Somebody should let Sluggy know that these guys are calling for her. (I'd steer her away from the guy with the turtle fetish though. You never know what he would do to a stinking yellow dog with a glass eye.)

    Uwethepigfarmer.jpg Germanturtlefancier.jpg
  14. How did you know the dog was legless? You stalking me or summat. And I NEVER drink Aldi speshul brew, only meths. Beat the wife, have you seen the size of the fucker!!!!!!
  15. "The Pig-farmer with the bad teeth", is there not a more significant feature that appeals to you than his dentistry? Look at that fucking Spud of a nose ffs! It makes 1/3rd of his boat!

    A bonus for clitoral stimulation I suppose for any pig that may have the misfortune to encounter him.