ARRSE is supported by the advertisements on it, so if you use an adblocker please consider helping us by starting an Ad-Free subscription.

DIY Cocksucker

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cernunnos, Nov 23, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Years ago when i was In basic training we had a scrawny Irish weasel in the Pl who could suck his own cock.

    We couldn't work out whether he was:

    a. One sick bastard.


    b. One lucky bastard.

    So we filled him in twice, just to be on the safe side.

    He later transferred to the AGC, I was just wondering, having just returned from RHQ, if that's part of the job spec.

    Two questions really:

    Do you know anyone who blows his own?

    Is he an arrogant gobshite clerk?
  2. Strangely enough this very topic came up several beers into post Remembrance pub parade. Apparently Michael Flatley can. I had hoped that the huge amount of ale I stuck down my face had erased the brain cells holding that information, but it seems I need to keep working on it. Must be an arrogant Irish thing.
  3. Thing is if you could would you swollow ?
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Was it because he was exceptionally bendy or because he was rigged? Or was it a combination of the two?

    I met one bloke who claimed he could do it but when asked for a demonstration it was fairly disappointing. He could just about manage to get the tip of his foreskin between his lips.
  5. Even if I could ( I can't ) I would'nt be tempted having anywhere near my gob...........I know where its been !
  6. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I think the real question here is, if you had clone of yourself who was identical to you in every way and had the same memories as you up until the point you were cloned, would you give yourself a gummer?

    Obviously the favour would be returned by your clone, you wouldn't want to see yourself off.

    It's a question that has plagued mankind, and me in particular, for thousands of years.
  7. What about those geezers who are so well endowed that they an shove their own slonge up their own hoops..... so it has been alleged...... mind you, being able to lick your own bollox like a Mutt would be nice...... or do you get the girlfriend to do that...??????
  8. Im not putting up with her moaning and sucking my own cock(assuming I could) ..
  9. He was no Ron Jeremy, more the india rubber man, which was quite useful when stuffing him into the lockers in the drying room. He was a B1 bubbler and whinger was his spec qual, the original billy no mates.
  10. You are Methuselah and I claim my ten shillings award.
  11. Quick question, is a DIY Cocksucker a bit like a women pleasing herself with a dildo?

  12. No, (as seen in Pattaya) a woman tonguing her own engorged bean with a sparkler hanging out of her hoop is the equivalant.
  13. ok, so no different really then a bloke giving himself a hand job or a women flicking her bean with her fingers then.

    Personally, if the bloke I was seeing started sucking on his own cock, I'm not sure whether I would be turned on by it or amused. I suspect it would be amusement that would have me rolling around the bed.

    Now I'm off to see if I can still get my legs around the back of my head ;-)

  14. There`s a bloke still serving in 2 Para who can suck his own cock, and he doesn`t have to bend down too far to do it as well. It`s one hell of a party trick, impressed the hell out of hats and women!!!!
  15. If you could suck your own dick, would you suck it? It's a tricky one isn't it? Yes it's your cock so it wouldn't be much different to sucking your thumb but, it's a cock and while I'm sure you could get a bit of pleasure giving it a good tonguing and such, you've still got a cock in your mouth. Does the fact that it's yours make it any less revolting than sucking off a hobo?

    So you've decided that your going to give it a go (just to see what it's like) sorted a bit of seductive lighting and put some Buble on you Ipod and get down to it.

    Question: Do you keep your eyes open? Lets face it, it wont be a pretty sight staring at your own nut sack. Worse than that, just over the horizon it your arssehole. Surely nobody should be in a position to see their own hoop.