Divorce when going to the Sandpit

Discussion in 'Finance, Property, Law' started by sticky79, Sep 4, 2009.

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  1. Hi

    Dont know if anyone can clear this up for me. My husband is due to go to the sandpit this month, after trying to divorce him for 4 years (paperwork not been signed twice, although i want nothing from him no money or pension etc except for divorce, and he doesnt want back with me)

    He now says he will divorce me, he is usually based in UK but apprantly he said the ALS will sort out the divorce for him (i am ex serving and thought they only did this for soldiers in Germany??)

    Firstly they were going to do it before he deployed but now apprantly have to wait to he is in theatre.

    Does this sound right will it actually get done or do you think its more woffle. Just with his track record hard to believe but he may be telling the truth, personally i wouldnt trust paperwork to go back and forth in afghan and is he really gunna get the opportunity to do this in those conditions?

    Sorry for all the woffle, would just like to know it is actually going to happen this time!

  2. samm1551

    samm1551 Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    Ask a stupid question.....am I not right that if you wait another year you can divorce him under the separation without him signing. I was under the impression if you had been separated 2 years you can divorce with him signing, 5 years without.

    If he was buggering you around that much I would be tempted to wait another year until you can do that.

    My solicitor told me that, but that was early 2003 so probably has changed since then. Got my ex husband on unreasonable behaviour instead though, so no need for the barsteward to sign.
  3. Just how many more chances are you willing to give him? Ignore him now and then divorce him yourself in a years time. It will save yourself the emotional rollercoaster ride of will he or wont he. And samm1551 is right, its 5 years without consent.
  4. Yeah thanks both of you i know, should wait it out just so frustrating.
  5. Will the reasons for divorce not come into account?
  6. I had a similar situation (not serving) which was sorted out when we went to court to sort out the finances. I stated that no money would change hands until the absolute was sorted and the Judge dealt with it there and then.

    In your case I'd suggest taking back control, leave it 12 months and divorce without needing the consent. Don't give him the satisfaction of giving you the run around.
  7. Hello All

    Its good to be back on the Arrse Forum....I have been away for some time and I am now back in the land of the living.

    Sorry to hear about your troubles Sticky, as far as I am aware, if he is in theatre (not just in Germany) ALS will deal with his divorce for him free of charge. Once he comes back out of theatre, he has to get a Solicitor or carry on himself. So he may be telling the truth.

    As for the other posters comments, you can only get a divorce on one ground and that is that your "marriage has broken down irretrievably". to SHOW how the marriage has broken down you need to rely on one of five things called the Facts:

    a) that he has committed adultery OR
    b) that he has behaved unreasonably OR
    c) that he has deserted you (going to Afghan is not desertion) OR
    d) that you separate for 2 years and at the end of the two years you both agree to the divorce (so you need his consent)
    e) that you separate for 5 years and at the end of the five years you do not need his consent.

    So it seems that you may meet Fact A? or B or D (because he may consent) so far.

    If you pursue him in a years time when the 5 years are up ...you will still need to serve him with the divorce papers just like you would if you were to start the divorce proceedings by issuing against him for say a Fact B (behaviour) divorce. So in a way you are not moving forward in that respect by waiting.

    If he refuses to sign the papers (which seems likely) you are better off getting him personally served (which will cost between £10 and £150 - depending on how quick you want it to happen) and once you have personally served him with the papers, even if he still refuses to sign the divorce documents, you can proceed to the next stage anyway after 29 days. It will be very easy to serve him in the UK and a right Royal pain in the jacksie to serve him in Afghan. So it seems to me you should serve him now with your set of papers.

    I am surprised your previous advisor did not mention personal service, overall, it is the quickest way of getting things moving.

    I hope that helps, if you want more clarification just holler......
  8. Johhnyboyzz

    I am sorry but I have deleted your post because there should be no commercial legal transactions on this site as it may expose the site to legal liability.

    My apologies.

    However, it would be helpful if you reposted the part regarding the differences in Scottish Law.
  9. ......hiding from Iolis.
  10. Judge Thanks very much for clearing this up for me.

    My pevious attempt at obtaining a divorce was when you do it yourself so hence i didnt know about the baliff serving.

    One other drama i have is i have a daughter from a previous relationship, my husbands name is on her birth certificate stupidy i know, but he kept on and on and i stupidly let him put it on. Can i get this removed without us both getting in the shit?

  11. Why would I do that? I was away on military matters not that it is any of your business.
  12. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Why would he and you want to do that in the first place? The girls father is always going to be her father and should be on the birth certificate - you cannot keep changing it to fit your current relationship.
    Did he legally/technically adopt your daughter?
  13. Because you threw your teddy the last time he made you look a right c*nt.

    Away on military matters? Show relevance?
  14. GROW UP