Divorce lawyers.

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by woopert, Jun 7, 2004.

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  1. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    In need of one (sadly). Anyone know of some reputable ones that cover the SE and are forces friendly?
     
  2. Is there such a thing a 'friendly' solicitor. They are all out to make money, it is a business and you are the product. A number of my friends seem to have gone down this line and all too often it ends up messy, what seems amicable turns into all out war.....between solicitors! Forces Friendly or not you will end up paying so the question should be how much are you willing to pay!
     
  3. Mate come to an amicable agreement then go to solictor (one solicitor) get him/her to draw up agreement, pay the money. Else neither of you get anything but bills.
     
  4. Totally agree, sad to say.
     
  5. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    That's what we have done. I want a solicitor to go through the paperwork now I have it so that I can be sure what I am signing doesn't expose me to huge risk further down the line (we are going to sign a clean break order that excludes any alimony and bars either of us from seeking assets in the future). I only have 7 days to respond to the courts, but have been recommended to someone and I'm seeing him on Thurs and will get him to send it in to the court on my behalf.
     
  6. She'll still have access to your pension I expect.
     
  7. Not if already dealt with in the agreement and subsequent court order.
     
  8. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    That's the point of the clean break order. She isn't seeking any of my pension rights and I'm not persuing any of her savings in the US. I am going to keep her as the beneficiary of my life insurance policy because I want to make sure she is provided for should she ever need it, but if I re-marry at any opint that priority changes obviously.
     
  9. It's the only way to go woopert , keep it civil and don't let the lawyers get their nose in the trough , hope it works out for both of you mate.
     
  10. if shes a fairly decent chick whos not trying to rip your hard earned pension (that you did the time for) out of your pocket, then go for the £65 all in, do it yourself divorce package available from your local magistrate. But if the scheming bitch is trying to take you for everything then good luck to you mate, i feel for you.
     
  11. I have friends who were divorced sometime ago - she divorced him on the grounds of adultery, which he didn't contest. he gave her all the savings, the car etc etc, paid the CSA amount for their one child. However, because she was so royally pissed off with him (he had been a bit of a cad) she contested every single thing in the house even though he told her to take everything. He had foolishly agreed to pay all the costs (guilty conscience?!!) and she managed to deliberately and methodically rack up a solicitor's bill of £10 000............

    My ex and I sorted it all out before presenting it to the solicitors and it still cost me £1500......... :?

    (still, it was worth it!!) :D
     
  12. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    I have to be fair to her, it is all civil. It just simply didn't work out and she decided that the life she wants now isn't the life I could offer and wasn't the life she thought she wanted when we got married. That's not to say it hasn't been crappy, it has, but we've got to the opint where we are still best friends. That's why there's no major dramas about finance or anything as we aren't looking to get revenge or cause unnecessary hurt by dragging it through the courts.

    That being said, I do want a lawyer who is independant of her to tell me if what I am signing is going to store up trouble in the long run, and if so what can be done about it. I've told her if he advises me that there is a sloophole that needs to be closed in the drafting of her petition that I will rtalk to her about it and the implications rather than bombard her with solicitors letters and scare the crap out of her.

    She is using an internet drafting service. You get a legal helpline and advice and you fill in their standard forms and they draft the documents for you, send you a draft for your approval, and then file them with the court.

    It's a mixed bag in my view because you dno't get the 1 to 1 service you will from a solicitor so the drafting can be weaker and may need resolving with the help of a lawyer later (which this might be a case of) and that adds to the cost. That being said, becauyse you don't get the 1 to 1 you don't get unscrupulous solicitors seeing the ££ signs and ramping up the issues and gearing the parties for a fight (her friends have done enough of that already in the past few months and that was hard enough without having to add insult to injury by paying them).

    I think we both just want to get this done, get it over with, move on and rebuild our relationship as friends in the future to everyone's advantage.

    Sadly I don't think there is any such thing as a relationship that turns it's toes in the air with dignity, but we are both trying not to let it get to that stage, having come close to it in the past and seeing the damage it did a few months ago.
     
  13. the request was for a forces freindly solicitor. have you looked at forces law?
    they are at http://www.forceslaw.co.uk/

    you can probably get a free first interview. as for cost that others mentioned, all solicitors are obliged to tell you the fees.

    hope that helps
     
  14. I'm not sure if the system works in Britain (or in fact still works anywhere), but I started divorce proceedings in Germany, then continued it in NI with the ALS. Got a really nice Col in Germany, and a mad Captain in NI, who both sorted everything out to the point I never had to speak to the ex (which was a bonus). It cost me nothing for legal costs and they managed to fight it out that I kept everything I went into the marriage with (including savings, car, etc). That's what they were there for, so it made sense.
     
  15. There is a maxim of law: "As a thing is bound so shall it be unbound." The marriage/divorce business in America is of the, by the, and for the lawyers, and let's not forget the lawyers are judges too in the so called "Family Court." What I am about to say concerning the legal nonsense of marriage in America probably applies to UK also.

    To stay out of the family court do everything in reverse (unbind yourself). Most people in America think if they obtain a "divorce" they are no longer bound to the other two parties (a state marriage is a legal relationship between three parties, you, the significate other, and the state). Wrong. Unless and until one goes back to null a void the "marriage license" originally obtained from the state any one of the three parties can drag the other two into the family court arena at any time in the future. Why don't the lawyers tell their clients to do this? Would any savy business man turn down repeat customers? Besides, "Ignorance of the law is no excuss" is another maxim that applies. The rule making in this jurisdiction has been set up by the lawyers to frisk the two inferior partners to the legal agreement; the menage is complete as the "lawyers" are all state "licensed" :lol: . Also, most do not realize that when children result under this kind of legal arrangement the state has a superior interest in the children and will allow the two inferior participants to care for the children as long as they don't misbehave.

    To stay out of the family court due doo process do not use/enter into these agreements with the state. Dunno about UK but here in America you can go about your business with a significant other without a marriage license and there is virtually no difference. For myself I made the initial mistake many years ago and then eventually withdrew from the state license. For the last 15 years I have been with another significant other sans the marriage license with very few problems. Our relationship is sexually explicit (evidence two children) and legally undefined. If my friend and I were to ever have a "legal" dispute over money or chidren et cet the family court here in America could never aquire jurisdiction unless both parties agreed. And you do not want to take such a dispute into a jurisdiction where there has been reams of rule making to suit the lawyers (state). If we were to have such a dispute it will only end up where it belongs, in a court of general jurisdiction, here it is called the "suerior" court, where all the "judges" are actually judges (in the California "Family Court" the "judges" are all lawyers without an oath of office 8O ).

    Good luck!