Divine intervention. Voices in my head!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cernunnos, Mar 26, 2007.

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  1. Last month some miserable German b*stard had a go at my kids for playing loudly on the play area next to his house.
    My little girl came home in tears. Her brother, always very protective of his sister, is made of sterner stuff, he stood his ground and started flicking fresh dog sh*t at Hitlers windows with a stick. He was rewarded for his ingenuity with a thick ear.
    On hearing of this I went round to remonstate with the erstwhile Nazi and to point out that he'd bought his house on the cheap next to the busy play area, in a family estate.
    As the bulbous square-head stood on his doormat he made the mistake of referring to my family as Inseln-affen (island apes) a term of endearment used by the box heads for the Brits.
    At this point I heard a voice in my head saying "Kick him in the slats for verily he is a noxious box-head" and it was so.

    Does anyone else receive similar messages from God?

  2. Bliar does or thinks he does.

    But then it's usually just the WMF.
  3. Not really, but if i did hear voices, i would hope it was as wise as the one you heard :thumright:
  4. Contrast and compare.

  5. I see your point, children should be seen and not heard, on a public play area? MMMHH! I should gag them next time they play out then!
    My kids are well behaved, but lively. I can take them anywhere without embarrassment. They are well dressed, do well in school and are polite.
    I want them to grow able to think for themselves and not take shit from anyone, due to this they have a strong sense of injustice and react to reactionary child hating tw*ts like sakr_al_amn.
  6. Flicking dog shit at someones window because they have been told off, followed by you going round the guys house to threaten him.

    Fine example of well behaved nieghbours. Got a burnt out car in the front garden by any chance?
  7. No burberry on me mate!
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I have given your circumstance serious consideration, and on reflection, bearing in mind that the offending children were indeed making free with the facilities in the area, as was their right considering it was a 'childrens' play area, the fact that a box-head chose to remonstrate with them was completely invasive of their rights. I feel that the gentleman concerned had an issue with lebensraum, or the lack of funds (or armies) to achieve the lebensraum he desired.

    I see that your son had similar issues in respect of armies and sent an expeditionary force across his garden fence to right the wrongs done to both him and his sister, whilst patiently awaiting the backup he needed.

    From what I understand, he had to make a tactical withdrawal under fire and great loss his ear.

    I'm pleased however that the backup did indeed arrive before the play area was laid waste in the form of a better armed force that was able to deal with the first, and the second insult to freedom by providing the necessary response.

    Now, about reparations . . . :threaten:
  9. The thing about the Krauts is that they're absolute sticklers for rules. If they know they're in the right, they'll insist on it come hell or high water. Kraut cemeteries are chocka with bods who (nominally) were in the right.

    The problem with kiddies' play areas in Germany is that the law lays down certain times when everybody is forced to maintain a reasonable level of noise (around midday and after (I think) 20:00 hours in the evening). Of course, being the miserable fuckers they are, they'll insist on their rights there too. Even if it's against kids.

    Anyway, spot on drills that man!


  10. I have to seriously walk a way from situations over here, as "the voice of God"begs me to kill the stupid Tw@ts or at least a de-brief at the back of my site office. cnuts.

    Boxhead needed a bit of attitude adjustment :thumleft:
  11. This happened in the afternoon, well after the mid day quiet time. The use of the play area is not subject to the quiet laws. The noise of children playing is considered a reasonable noise, as is now electric lawnmowers and power tools in the house! The man was out of order and should have faced charges for assault, funnily enough he didn't phone the police after I intervened.

    The Germans are sticklers for the rules when these are applied to other people, especially foreigners. They often choose to ignore them themselves though!
  12. I still don't get this at all.

    Your kid was flicking dog shit at this guys windows (in retaliation at being told off) for which he got a clip round the ear, you go round his house and threaten him, and somehow this make the eric the bad guy?

    Maybe he was in the wrong in the first instance ie telling your kid to keep the noise down, but the actions of you and your offspring thereafter where completely out of order.

    Your son deserved a clip round the ear or would you have rather that the cops had been called?

    Oh of course he didn't call the cops because you threatened him.

    Proud of the message this sends to your child?

    Reminds me of the quotes you see in the papers all the time, "My Jonny is such a nice boy. It was such a surprise when we found out he was a little toerag".
  13. As I said, the Krauts (and particularly the old and bitter ones) are miserable fuckers at the best of times.

    I always found the best thing to do was to smile benignly at them, wait till they'd finished their spiel and then (still with the same smile) say: "Ich höre was du sagst, aber es geht mir komplett am Arsch vorbei". That soon shuts 'em up.

    But as I said in a previous post; spot on drills from you.

  14. Now I for one fecking hate kids. I think someone should invent pods you can put a newborn in for 18 years then let them out and see them on their way HOWEVER...

    It a kiddies playground so the guy shouldnt really have a complaint if the kiddies are playing at the right times.

    The kid should in no way have been flicking sh1t at the guys window.

    The guy shouldnt have smacked the kid he should have took him to his parents to be disciplined. If it was some fella smacking my kid, I would have decked him. If my kid needs smacking, I do the smacking, not some other bloke.

    And I must admit....out of all kids Ive ever came across...pads brats are amongst the most annoying, gobbiest little turds put on this planet.
  15. And another angle.

    What type of stick was your son using to flick dog poo at the window.

    Did it have a pointy end or was it cylindrical. I ask this as it is not easy to flick dog poo (Dog walkers who can't be bothered to clear up often flick)

    What was the distance, were there any obstacles in the way, cross winds and what was the hit ratio to ammo expended.

    More importantly kids don't just do this they have to be trained to flick poo.

    (Last week before leave, its really dragging..........)