Distinguishing features.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    In a different thread I highlighted the fact that members of the mob have a certain way about them with regards to dress sense and style.

    Matelots, squaddies, booties and even crabs are easy to spot, you can see them a mile away, but why?

    I see all these Walters at Remembrance parades with their bling medals and wonder what is the point?

    To be confused for a member of HM Forces all you need are the following convincing items:

    A train platform:

    Gash haircut:

    Sideys (matelots, booties and very ally squaddies only):


    Crap shirt:

    Some light refreshment for the train journey home:

    Have I missed anything? What other items/characteristics make us stand out?
  2. < 3 years service: a bright eyed and bushy tailed and slightly nervous look, still sporting a skinhead due to actually caring about dress regs and still being scared of the RP staff.

    > 3 years service: An exasperated and disillusioned look brought on by knowing that everything you joined up for will be gone this time next year and replaced by eastern european goons from G4S, and AT packages from Sodexo. Hair as long as you can possibly cheek it, around 2 days growth of whiskers because you 'don't give a fuck' and daydreaming of going AWOL and doing bar work in Australia.
  3. Forearm tattoos?
    G10 watch strap?
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    G10 watch strap is always a winner. As are Casio G shocks and Suunto watches for the slightly more flush lads.

    A copy of Zoo or Nuts magazine recently robbed from the mess is also a must.
  5. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    A TFI look Friday when you've just wrapped for the week and now have 2.5 days of excessive drinking and loose tarts. The exact opposite look on a Sunday evening when it's all over, you're still pissed but skint, and you still have your rig to iron when you get in.
  6. I've got a Casio Twin Sensor >whoop< Normally seen in twos or threes is another good point.
  7. Leatherman tool in a pouch on the belt.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Walking in step to the station pub.
    • Like Like x 6
  9. In the good old days when I was a young sprog, it was very easy.

    You needed some of these


    and one of these [​IMG] OR one of these


    and a pair of these


    I was always easy to spot

    • Like Like x 7
  10. Why did you have to carry a cosh?
  11. Maybe because you walk like you had been fucked for a number of years?
    • Like Like x 1
  12. DPM Patrol pack.

    V shaped tan line on your neck.

    Sat next to the sliding toilet door on the floor.
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I suppose it varies from base to base, unit to unit, but when I was doing a course at Collingwood a few years back, it seemed that the only cars on the base were the following:

    Peugeot 309 - For old school killicks. (Corporals)
    Peugeot 306 D Turbo - For those newly promoted.
    Subaru Impreza - For newly promoted POs and Chiefs.
    Citroen Saxo VTR - For ABs who had completed a bit of sea time.
    Ford Focus - For married types.
    Honda Civic Type R - For newly promoted Artificers.
    BMW 3 Series - For Lieutenants.
    Silver Golf GTI - For Young Officers.
    Vauxhall Corsa - For sprogs fresh from phase 1, financed up to their eyeballs.

    I honestly don't think I saw any other types of car there between 2002 and 2004.
  14. Dicked??
  15. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    When I was with 1BW all the young occifers drove Audi A3's! I thought they were issued in Sandhurst.