Dispicable Things.

Just Got out of hospital for reconstructive surgery to my ankle. Spent Several days in a room with some good blokes. Laptop DVD Cinemas for the lads. It was not a bad stay. Then we go a man down due to discharge and in his place comes some TO$$ER of a Macedonian, who did bugger all, all day, but slag off the troops in NATO, USA, GB and anyone else who at some time or other has stood on the battlefield with the yanks.

I told him once and for all that I wasn't interested in his politics and definitely not in his views on terrorism and its causes. I told him he would regret mentioning it again in my presence.

I went out for a tab and a coffee and on returning, he was preaching to the others again. I just ignored him and walked into the bathroom - You know the type - all washbags in a line with names on. So it didn't take me long to get my vengeance.

I got hold of his tooth brush and gave it the biggest ******* in the world.

Trust me, Enterprise couldnt have rid more klingons.

Imagine the fun and laughter as I told the boys what I had done as the nobber went into the bathroom that evening. Imagine the giggles as he started schimpfing as he picked up his toothbrush and smelt it.

Who else has done such a dispicable thing?????????????????
I think I may have. I'm a Macedonian and had to replace some Brit skivver at short notice. I changed toothbrushes in our washbags with some limping malingerer whilst he wasnt looking as he wasnt listening to my political debate on world affairs.

I then went back to his home and gave his wife something to hang her towels on.

:lol: :D
I remember a certain Cpl clerk working hard to produce some 'milk' for the chief clerks coffee 'cos he'd been turned down for a cushy posting!!

Must admit to not actually seeing the final event happen (thank god) so don't know if he actually produced the goods as it were.

Still, - it's the thought that counts!
Unsubstantiated rumour regarding the ACC chef caught shagging a defrosted chicken wedged on top of a radiator in the WRAC depot.
On getting caught he asked for 137 other acts to be taken into account as he w**ked off every morning into the WRAC’s milk supply.
Whilst at Devrell Bks in Ripon with 657. The MT/Sigs and SQMS were housed in the old nissan huts at the time, so we were hidden away from preying eyes. Two chaps were posted out from the MT, so we had a Thursday afternoon leaving drinks session. By tea time we were playing drinking and running games. The two lads leaving had to run from one end of the nissan hut, pick up the pint pot and drink contents and run back to the finish, and start again. There was a group of us stood at the end of the nissan hut (five of us if I remember correctly), filling the pint pots up with, yeap, piiss and talcum powder !! They sunk around 3 pints each (plus I was a sneaky basstard, and kept pee'ing on the pee'ers). I'll give them credit, they were so pee'd they never noticed. And I'll give them further credit, they managed a night down Ripon, although both spewed the night away.
Apparently the Macedonian may have sneaked off to do my wife. But having seen his wife I would have allowed it on sympathy grounds anyway. Didnt bother using my toothbrush as I was using one of the nurses nether reagion hairs as dental floss.

Now dont get personal Flash or I'll tell the nice people about you doing my cat as well.
Back in the days when the Corps had its own clerks, there was one chief clerk(in Germany) who the story goes was slowly poisoned by his own men. Every time he asked for a brew, the maker would put a teaspoon of white spirit in the cup, this went on for a considerable period of time until one day the said chief clerk collapsed with suspected kidney failure. Needless to say he survived the incident completly oblivious, the hospital put it down to heavy drinking.


Too many horrors to describe in detail. One that does spring to mind - Lurch being jumped by a mob one evening, tied, gagged and hooded and taken to the cellar in the accomodation block in Detmold, where he was tied to a bench and left there for some considerable time in the pitch darkness. And all done in total silence.

The probationary Constable who was cajoled into getting into the mortuary fridge in order to give a colleague a fright when opening the door to ID a body - fell foul of another PC on the next slab suddenly turning to him inside said fridge and saying "F---ing cold in ere innit mate "

The list is endless.........

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