Disgusting things you've seen

Blokes brushing their teeth in portaloos, which are half full and have been baking in 30+ degrees heat, while they go for their morning p1ss.
What could be any more fxcking rats?
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
I once had to endure watching Everton [allegedly] play football.

It was in a derby match versus Liverpool.
 
Blokes brushing their teeth in portaloos, which are half full and have been baking in 30+ degrees heat, while they go for their morning p1ss.
What could be any more fxcking rats?
I turned my schlong into a pistol grip after many solo sessions in portaloos from Kosovo to Iraq.

The stench of sun dried turd made my climaxes more intense.
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
On a serious note, at a service station on the M6, hot day, fat sweaty bloke runs wobbles into one of the traps and drops his strides (door closed thankfully).

His phone rings.

"Feck!!!" [shouted]

He then answers the phone and holds a conversation whilst on the throne.
 
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I turned my schlong into a pistol grip after many solo sessions in portaloos from Kosovo to Iraq.

The stench of sun dried turd made my climaxes more intense.

I find if you push forward and pull back on your quivering purple torpedo of conquest, your ribs open and close like a Venetian blind.
 

Issi

LE
I was once in a canoeing competition outside Krefeld on a Sunday morning.

As was usual for me at the time, I had a crippling hangover and we had to sit in our canoes in a big swirling eddy waiting for our turn to start.

I felt a bump against the rear of my boat and looked around to see a large burst rotting dog bumping down the side of the boat.

I squealed like a six year old, and pushed it away with my paddle, but due to the eddy it kept swirling around and coming back to me.

Drizzling, hungover, rotten dog and Krefeld. Not my most pleasant Sunday.

Won a silver medal though, which was nice.
 
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Syledis

War Hero
Doing my FRC Coxswain refresher at Stonehaven, they flipped the boat over while we were in it, and when i surfaced, there was a used tampon about 3 feet away from me.

Dirty East coasters!
 
Doing my FRC Coxswain refresher at Stonehaven, they flipped the boat over while we were in it, and when i surfaced, there was a used tampon about 3 feet away from me.

Dirty East coasters!
Debarking from a rhib, I climbed halfway up a ladder up to the quayside and was confronted by a used 10" black rubber knobbler, From a rhib to a ribbed...
Strangely, the sight of a half-eaten apple in a half-full used-sanitary-products bin.
 
On my gym queen course watching a lad chowing down on a banana (that had but a few minutes before been several inches up another lads arse) while going on about how they were the perfect snack. No. He didn't know where it had been until after he finished and was shown the pictures.
 
We were on a Battlefield Tour at Monte Casino back in 2005. It was a really hot day and in a nearby town, a few of us joined a pretty lengthy queue for an Ice Cream.
An old Italian lady staggered past, clearly out of it on something and the whole of the back of her legs and dress were covered in shit, where she had most likely followed through.
A lot of the locals in the queue headed off in disgust, while us Squaddies just had a good laugh and moved swiftly to the front. Result! That said, I gave the triple chocolate flavour a miss! :grin:
 

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