Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chemystery, Jan 26, 2007.

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  1. What you are about to read may make you feel sick...you have been warned!

    The story starts with me heading to the traps for my afternoon cable laying session. I open the door and notice a magazine lying on the floor so I sit on the throne pick up the magazine, hoping for a good view of naked beauties, and then realised that the magaine was...(and this is where it gets fcuked up)...Womans Own! :thumbdown:

    That's right some 'bloke' had taken in Womans Own to read whilst having a dump completley unbalancing the masculine identity of mans last sanctuary!

    I had to snap it off quite rapid, go outside and completley rebuild a car engine just to get it out of my system.
  2. WTF?! Sayin that, in cosm girl etc etc you get more naked girls than you do in nut/zoo etc etc...its a bit like snapping one off over your mums underwear catalogue
  3. About as disgusting as a mate of mine who, whwn entering a trap in Wainright camp found a "Fiesta" lying on the floor.

    He dropped his trolleys, sat down and started reading the mag when he noticed a viscous, white fluid dripping off the bottom of the page. He followed it's download trajectory and saw it was landing in the gusset of his shorts.

    Saying that, it's probably not the first time he's had another man's baby batter mingling with his butt musk.
  4. I'm off to make another brew...the last fcuker is dripping off the screen... :thumright:
  5. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Yeah....So's my funcking whisky!!! :numberone:
  6. You filthy, filthy fecker. Gonna make another coffee!
  7. To understand the enemy you must know where the enemy is coming from...

    Apart from that its probably some pad slag who was in shagging the singlies.... or the SQMS!!
  8. Oh for goudness sake do you know ho hartd it is gto getr a replacemtryt Qpad for the laptip. uf I cradh mu wheekchare do I blam e the teard pf laugter ot yeh brew.
    pisting ovwr fot yhe day.
  9. I believe they found cheerleader magazines in Ted Bundy's car when they eventually caught him. Strange things work for some people!
  10. Did you just type that with you beel end?? :cyclopsani:
  11. You poor naive fool. Only closet bound homos fear the power of the BS published in these second rate journals (including those rip offs of Radio Times).

    A true red blooded fighting man of the British Army would clearly see this as a potential recce into the psyche of the clinically mental chics of the world who you'll find hanging out in the bars of most garrison towns. These wimmin tempt poor unsuspecting young soldiers into 'relationships' with cunning plans picked up in these mags. The only way to counter the 'honey pot' is to become fluent in 'bint speak'. It's not a fool proof defence but it will prevent you marrying a proper psycho (as opposed to the 'normal' psychos who don't boil your pets).

    And, of course, they're full or really great tips for coordinating your bedding. Oops, did I type that out loud?
  12. I read a problem page in a Frau's mag that had some bird asking if it was normal to have Sh1t coming out of her fanny.
    Now if that ain't funny then I don't know what is.
  13. Reminds me of a story I once read in Forum(?) magazine; an American volume full of Dear Deidre-esque problems.

    The one that sticks in my mind is of a young art student bloke from New York who could only achieve an erection if the bird he was bumming was ugly, the uglier the better.

    He related a tale of trapping some dwarf-like thing with facial hair and body odour that would make a Kenyan retch.

    He duly stripped, licked and poked the oompa-loompa and when he shot his bolt and realised in the cold light of "bags empty" what he'd done, he vaulted onto the bed and unleashed a few pints of natural champagne all over her face and head.

    He finished the tale with the immortal line "Have I a problem?"
  14. You catalogued your mum's underwear? :plotting:
  15. The horescopes are really good in them. (Apparently):)