Dirty tricks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Lizardo, Mar 9, 2007.

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  1. Last 15 minutes on stag in a tower, you fancy having a fourth thrap in two hours.Job done. Now you have a dilema though do you
    A. slap your man flavoured range glue on the earpiece of the field phone ? (for an instant effect when you buzz the tower) or

    B. splash happy on the heater and turn it up to full just before you are relieved ( long lasting aroma splendid)

    aside from the harry munk shower gel left in the shower for the duty pad (gets em every time! ) what other minging tricks have you arsers been up to ?

    I personally went for the earpeice jizz due to wanking so much the tower fucking stank anyway :cyclopsani:
     
  2. Harbour areas, particually stag positions. Gettin a sneaky dump in just in front of one of the other sections stag point so every one gets to savour my boil in the bag corned beef hash!
     
  3. Dropping your guts in the guard room kettle always brought a smile to my face!
     
  4. luverly! was doing enemy for 45 cmdo when we did the shit in a bag with a thunder flash routine went down a treat ! got cocky at copehill down though decided to do a fire team shit grenade defensive manouver only to suffer a serious blue on blue ( bounced off the walls inside our sect house) but hey,its a dirty thing war !!
     
  5. whilst in kupres we were sharing DROPS with another troop,overnight they put a dead cat (roadkill) on my trucks rocker cover under the cab smelt of roasted cat all the way down to split north port.
    My revenge was to rub my s**t over the steering wheel to freeze overnight,first thing they did the next morning,heating on haha !!
     
  6. site guard at Munster Nord has just come flooding back to me, the fragrant aromas & the sticky messes you would encounter on entering the sangar.

    deep joy........................
     
  7. i remember once in sennebridge we were billeted in those horrible huts..
    JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT..
    i took a handfull of springs from one of the top bunks..
    the effect to us was hilarious..
    WHO HAPPENED TO JUMP ON THAT TOP BUNK??

    THE BRAND NEW PLATOON COMMANDER..
    STRAIGHT OUT OF SKOOL..
    STRAIGHT ONTO THE BOTTOM BUNK..

    AND HE DIDNT HAVE A SENCE OF HUMOUR..
     
  8. I once made Commander 5 airborne "the best cup of filter coffee he had ever had in the field" Filtered using a pair of my wife's old tights that i kept for shining my boots.

    Yes I know we did stuff differently in the Cav
     
  9. OR WITH THE SAME OFFICER IN BERLIN..
    (his attitude towards us had not changed)
    A HEATED SEWING NEEDLE THROUGH HIS RESPIRATOR A COUPLE OF TIMES THE NIGHT BEFORE N.B.C TRAINING..

    NOW THAT WAS SPECTACULAR..

    and i got the blame-----------------cos i did it..
     
  10. We were a bit more civilised and used to leave a skud jotter in the rifle slit under the window in the sangars at Sennelager for the next stag. Trouble was you often had to look at the chic in the jotter covered in the last stags man yogurt whilst thrapping. I reeckon we should have got more pay if you managed.

    Pip pip
    Effy20

     
  11. Nasty Chieftain crew Corporals of my acquaintance used to enjoy knocking one out in the commander's seat.

    When approaching vinegar strokes tap gunner on shoulder, and hey presto "Target?" "Target Stop!"
     
  12. One of the lads goes on leave for 2 weeks the duty kipper placed on radiator with the heat cranked up

    Got his own back built a brick fishpond in the culprits room complete with fish and fountain 'had to paddle through pond to get to his locker'
     
  13. Lots of spunk going on here, just going to raise the tone slightly.

    Prime and concurrent use for the sink in single-man rooms is for lagging into during the night and doing the "hot and cold flush" business when the toilets are too far away to bother.

    The trick was to unscrew and remove the "u bend" bit from underneath the sink when the occupant was out of his room. Funny as fuck when the bloke decides to piss in his sink during the night and actually ends up pissing all over his floor with no "u bend". Equally as funny is if the guy doesn't piss in the sink, but fills it up for a shave / brushing of teeth, then removes the plug and ends up with a floor full of dirty water.