Dirty habbits to annoy the wife

#1
Now I love nothing more in the morning waking up and having a good poke up the nose with my digit. I can normally find a nice specimen ranging from a fullers earth type one that removes the nasal hair and is the size of a small country right through to a big wet chewy one. Normally if the other 1/2 catches me it's a dirty bastarrd and throws me a hankie however when shes not around I have a tendency to stick them under the bedside table thing don't know why just do. However the dog sleeps next to it and imagine her squeal's as I get her to turn round and there's the dog munching away on a nice supply of nose juice. The dog seems to like them as it's not the 1st time he's had snot for breakfast :elephant:
 
#4
My Da used to pick his hooter & then wipe offending digit on his sock!Especially while driving...
Miss spike hates it when I reach in thru the hole in the boxers & give the 'ol nads a good scratch!....Sometimes I pick the ol hooter straight after just to add a bit of extra 'eeaugh!!'
 
#6
not wife, but girl friend, but spreading arms and legs across the whole of the bed, some reason i fart more while asleep, and i get poked in the ribs for if it gets to smelly, inviting the cat on the bed, (and probably the dog we are getting soon), fishing for snot rockets, the list goes on (with alot of help from mrs predator)...

god she wont stop,
thank you for starting this...
 
#7
After having a good old pick of the hooter,wiping the choicest sticky specimins on the dogs head and trying not to pi$$ myself when people come in and pat him.
Usually gets a dirty pig type response

Edited to add; and a general refusal to be dead seems to annoy her a bit too!
 
#8
iits strange really i thought that i was only in a small minority of blokes that had dirty habbits. i bought mine a few years back from a vigalanty nun that use to ride a scateboard topless, obviously the habbit was worn to protect her dignaty. after one particulary darring feat of beauitfully excicuted double side back fake shifty. the habbit fell into a puddle. well thats the story that went with it when i bought it on ebay. ever since the wifes been trying to clean it. grrrr
 
#9
After a bollocking for not pulling my weight with the housework I decided to chip in and try my hand at modern parenting, by cleaning the bathroom.
Whilst getting in touch with my feminin side I noticed that the bog brush resembled a sherpa's wa'nk sock, it was minging.
It came up a treat in the dishwasher though!
Our lass went off on one but the question of cleaning has since been dropped.
 
#10
I can fart for the planet but my habit pales into feck all compared to her burping; there should be a new number on the Richter Scale for it...........so lady like!
 
#11
Its a classic bloke trick, but farting under the duvet then holding down until Mrs Leveller get in bed, lifts cover WHAM full nasal enjoyment for her, gets her every time, also farting and pulling the duvet over her face.
 
#12
Rotflmao! You guys, what ever next...

Well I have a problem with pickin me hooter aswell, and straching my arse in public, right in the crack. Ermm...cant think of anymore at the moment, but i'm sure I'll pick more up :D
 
#13
As mentioned by others such things as talking/breathing/living have annoyed previous girlfriends.

I bite my nails, which is a minging habit, and I only ever do them when they're clean - but that winds the current missus up.

Not done it myself but seen that "cheating" is a pretty bad habit when the missus finds out.

Nose picking is fine until somewhere very dusty - when instead of something green, tasty and with good texture a lump of black grit comes out on your finger that is about as edible as bucket of sand.
 
#15
hi

ive worn army boots since school and if theres one thing i love doing is taking them off near the misses(what a stink):)

shes loves it really,more so when i ask for a toe suck and they smell of vinegar:):)
 
#16
Misjudging a shite for a fart is my favourite past time. Mrs D_D is now used to the old saying that goes like : " It felt like gas."

This, while she puts more soap to the stain, in a desperate attempt to save me last pair of undies.
 
#17
Devil_Dog said:
Misjudging a shite for a fart is my favourite past time. Mrs D_D is now used to the old saying that goes like : " It felt like gas."

This, while she puts more soap to the stain, in a desperate attempt to save me last pair of undies.
You owe my work a new monitor.
 

chrisg46

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
crabby said:
As mentioned by others such things as talking/breathing/living have annoyed previous girlfriends.

I bite my nails, which is a minging habit, and I only ever do them when they're clean - but that winds the current missus up.

Not done it myself but seen that "cheating" is a pretty bad habit when the missus finds out.

Nose picking is fine until somewhere very dusty - when instead of something green, tasty and with good texture a lump of black grit comes out on your finger that is about as edible as bucket of sand.
I dont wipe it, been caught too many times when a small crop is discovered. Instead now i flick it, which usually i get away with. however i have found the semi sticky ones can go off at a strange tangent. Not often a problem, but more than one person has felt something hit the side of the head then scream what the FCUK? when they inspect it.
This also works when discreetly popping spots in company...
 
#19
Excavation of nostril, inspection of result, flicking on to ceiling to allow it to drip ...

... haven't done it since school. Honest.

Ahem.
 
#20
I like playing a long and subtle game where I'm well behaved, loving and caring and mindful of her needs. After a while, this behaviour starts to tell and she gets all generous and sharing and thinks, 'Awww, he's being so good, I think I'll give him a blow-job to show how much I love him.'

This lasts right up to the point where she's just getting started and realises I've not cleaned by knob for a month.

hehehe

B-T
 

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