Dirty Bastard - Fucking Disgusting

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Yokel, Apr 26, 2012.

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  1. I had the misfortune of having to use public toilets today, so I opted for well cleaned ones in a shopping arcade. Whilst having my piss I noticed a horrible smell coming from a cubicle. One of the less pleasant facts of life I guess.

    But as I hurried washed my hands and made a sharp exit I noticed the source of this horrid pong emerging from the cubicle, and heading for the exit. The dirty fucker did not wash his hands. Fucking disgusting! He then headed for a shop.

    Given the declining effectiveness of common antibiotics, this individual and his ilk represent a menace to public health. How did he not know that shit is full of nasty germs, and washing hands post turd is a good idea? He was also wearing white trainers.

    How should this highly undesirable person be dealt with?
     
  2. Drowned in alcohol gel.
     
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  3. "Where I come from, we wash our hands after we've had a shit"

    "Where I come from, we don't shit on our hands"

    QED.
     
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  4. It often happens when I use Supermarket loos to have a piss. Dirty bastards should be force fed their own excrement.
     
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  5. Or wipe your arses. Fucking Pikeys get everywhere. ;-)
     
  6. What? "He was also wearing white trainers." in a Public place? Not in the gym or on the Track? Outrageous I say, outrageous! In my day etc. etc.

    He was probably of a different ethnic persuasion. Did he look like picca-ninny or a dhobi-wallah?
     
  7. do not touch the door of a public toilet it carries more pathogens than a ten dollar Ho when the Jocks have been in town
    rather wait door till said creature opens it and slide through so their germs don't rub off, tell the shop they dived into in order they are aware of the menace of faecal matter transfer and call the fashion police they will know how to deal with this particularly vile type who wear white trainers!
     
  8. I made a quick exit to avoid contact with the door handle after Shitty Hands Man, but the following came to mind:

    1. It was unfortunate that I had emptied my bladder, as pissing on my hands would kill germs. Urine is of course sterile, and some people like the taste (not me).

    2. He should be made to eat turds until he gets dysentry or typhoid fever.

    PS I have strong grounds for suspecting him of being a chav.
     
  9. Always use your elbows to open doors etc in public bogs.

    Gets me some funny looks but then I haven't caught Bubonic plague in years.
     
  10. Maybe he thought you were "cottaging" and was just trying to get the fuck away from you?
     
  11. What a coincedence. I was in shopping arcade earlier, as I was caught short. To be fair, the cubicle stank, but I had no options open to me as the one next door was in use.

    I finished my business and exited the cubicle to see some wierd pervert staring at me. I think he was looking at me from the cubicle next door. I usually wash my hands, as I'm not a minger, but the pervert was by the sinks. I exited stage left.

    Fucking pervert. Thank god I didn't lag on my nice new white running trainers.
     
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  12. The SOP is for several SNCOs from the Duke of Lancaster's Regiment kick him half to death in the mess, isn't it?
     
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  13. Good thinking. I'll stop using my mouth.
     
  14. That's what happens when you come accross civvies who haven't been to sandy places, and been made to wash their hands every 5 minutes for 6 months.

    PS. Urine maybe sterile when fresh, but as it's a perfect breeding ground for bacteria, does not stay sterile for very long at all.
     
  15. While I do agree that washing of ones hands after a poo is good ettiquette, i should point out that I never use the sinks in public loos due to the amount of times I've seen people hocking up phlegm, or having a slash or a nosebleed or anyother disgusting bodily function slash mishap.
    Maybe like me he was carrying his own anti bacterial gel in his pocket.

    Also think back to all the shits and pisses you've had in your life, especially the ones "in field conditions" shovel recces, close target recce nervous wee, convoy bladder, range swamp/log you didn't wash up after everyone and you aren't dead yet.
    This is a pretty good indicator that not washing up after a shit isn't about to kill you immediately.....well not unless you are carrying the turd with you and scoffing it while walking around ASDA shopping.
     
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