Direct action...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Lympstone_Mud_Warbler, Dec 8, 2006.

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  1. Just a little story to amuse you today. Outside the door of a flat I own is a rubbish chute that serves the second floor, we have five flats on each floor. The rubbish chute is quite small and you can only fit a plastic carrier 3/4 full of rubbish down it, if it is bulging then it will not fit and gets stuck in the tray, requiring a certain amount of poking to get it through to the chute.

    I have come back to check the place out a few times to find a bag of rubbish left on the floor by the chute, that some lazy bugger has not been bothered to take down to the rubbish store as it would not fit. I poked the first one down with the handle of the broom whilst muttering about the laziness of some of the people that lived on that floor, and then forgot about it. The second time it happened I also disposed of it. I sat and thought about this for a while which enraged me into writing a note to stick to the chute that said " Do not leave bags of rubbish on the floor, put them in the rubbish store where they are supposed to go. No one likes rubbish dumped outside their door" I thought that this would solve the problem.

    When I came back the next time, another bloody bag had appeared on the floor, despite the note. In a fit of rage along with a pair of rubber gloves I spilt the bag open and sorted through the crap in the bag until I found what I was looking for. It defied my imagination as to what was in that bag, but I can say it was bloody disgusting. I carefully reassembled a torn up letter and envelope. I had found the culprit.... Flat 9. Right you feckers.

    With great relish I posted all that crap through the letter box of flat 9.... Potato peelings, empty cartons of Sainsbury's dip, a catalog that seemed to be full of pictures of dildos, torn up paper, a empty can of tuna (i had to crush this a bit to get it through), plastic milk cartons, bathroom waste (including what looked like a.. well it was 'orrid) loads of fag ends and all sorts of other old crap. This all went through followed by a note " You seem to be having problems getting your waste down the rubbish chute, I thought I would demonstrate how easy this is by using an aperture much smaller than the rubbish chute, your letter box. I would suggest that you use this new found knowledge to your best advantage" I would of liked to have been there when the lazy bitch opened her door when she came home.

    She was last heard bleating to the fellow downstairs who is the head of the committee that runs the services and maintenance. He was less than sympathetic to her complaint by all accounts I think he used words like " tell someone who gives a shit"

    Ideal....
     
  2. chimera

    chimera LE Moderator

    :D :D :D :D :D

    Awesome
     
  3. WELL DONE MATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    An bag on fire outside her door with a turd in it is the obvious next step.

    Let us know how she gets on with that one!!!!!!!
     
  4. Is the lazy bitch fit?
     
  5. Comedy gold :)
     
  6. No she is a strained looking munter with a face like a smashed crab.
     
  7. I hope you also stuck your cock through the letter box & had a waz on top of the litter too? :?
     
  8. Post the slags address here and we can all send abusive Christmas cards. It would be in keeping with the spirit of the season to recieve cards from drunks all over the world saying "Merry Christmas you minging fat tub of pigs offal".
     
  9. That sounds UGLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE. Well bassed on this You have, without doubt, done the only logical thing left to do. Well done.
     
  10. Herr Bliar's stormtrooper Council Taskforce should be knockin' on your door any day now.

    Expect about 5 years.
     
  11. 5 years? If he rapes a child and claims asylum he might get out in 3...
     
  12. well done I hope she has learnt her lesson - there is no excuse for not disposing of one's own rubbish

    has anyone any suggestions for the lazy feckers who don't pick up after their dogs in the park near me? people go there to play football etc and it is not nice when waling across having to watch where I walk - I would rather be able to look at the views........

    maybe take photos and pin to all the local lamposts in a shaming campaign?
     
  13. :evil: Well done L_M_W,

    Standing up for what you believe in can change the slothful attitude of the weak minded :p

    Whilst based at Ash Vale and living in Guildford I had occasion to lock horns with a neighbour who insisted on parking in front of my garage.

    Despite numerous early morning calls he continued to park and ignore my requests not to do so. Sufficient parking in the street was visible event to him so stupid!

    One night a large can of paint stripper and brush came into good use. Amazingly........no more parking in front of my garage. :twisted:

    Written on car in large letters " THIS HAPPENS A LOT TO BADLY PARKED CARS"! :evil:

    'Nuff said


    fastmedic
     
  14. Cam up, hide in a bush with an air-rifle: first offensive aim for a soft area of the body (limb or backside), 2nd offence aim centre body mass.

    Don't go for the dog; not its fault the owner's a cnut