#1
I recently bought a large plastic jar of dinosaurs for a young child. I sensed it was a good investment because of the general enthusiasm for dinosaurs exhibited by the subject. In fact, this past year I have greatly increased my annual budget for purchasing dinosaur merchandise. In some months, I’m actually spending more money on dinosaurs than I am on kebab meat. So what’s it all about? Why do children clutch miniature plastic cold-blooded reptiles that became extinct long before mankind? I’ve got four hypotheses which are based mainly on common sense and which I’m sure you’ll be able to identify with.

Firstly, dinosaurs are a clichéd symbol of outmoded and irrelevant beliefs and values. By grasping the dinosaurs form, the inarticulate child is able to announce its rejection of the way of life that it sees within its parents. Long since adults have forgotten how they found the comfortable routine that they had to accept in order to be deemed acceptable and not be hunted by society for contravening man’s rules and regulations. Brandishing the dinosaur, the child is saying ‘I reject that which you accept as your way of life and express disappointment at how easily you abandoned your principles’. Harsh words you’ll agree, but you can see why young children cry so freely when you take their dinosaurs away from them.

In a similar way, the plastic toy dinosaur allows the child to elevate its status in a society where the dinosaur physically and metaphorically embodies how we are ruled and display deference to the leaders placed above us. When we stand to attention at a glass case containing dinosaur bones or at a museum display with a reconstructed, moving T-Rex, are we not teaching our children that we show our obedience to this ancient symbol? The similarities to how we comport ourselves whilst drinking toasts or stand to attention on parade is astounding.

Unfortunately, whilst the previous two paragraphs are meant to be light-hearted and won’t be a great revelation to the more critical thinkers amongst us, there is a more worrying side to dinosaur worship which requires more thought. Namely the promotion of polytheism through dinosaur toys. Children are made to literally worship the different types of dinosaurs (T-Rex, the one with the long neck, the flying one, the other one, etc...). Are we not risking the mortal souls of our very children by introducing them multiple idols? These are not Pokémon and we are not meant to catch them all. I’m troubled by children being introduced to idol worship especially when they see what elevated status and deference we pay to these unholy, Godless beasts. How long will it before the first person is killed to defend the honour of a dinosaur?!

People often scoff at David Icke and his theory of the Royal Family being shape shifting lizards but has anyone ever questioned how it is that we allow ourselves to blindly lead our children into meaningless lives of capitalism and consumerism without a cursory struggle? I’m obviously not calling the Royal Family shape shifting dinosaurs but why is nobody questioning how and why we, as a nation, are investing so much of our worldy treasures and our chances in the afterlife into promoting the status of dinosaurs onto successive generations? Who is it who benefits from forcing children to love dinosaurs if not dinosaurs themselves? What have we become when our own children turn to cold-blooded dinosaurs for tenderness and sanctuary?

Oh God. What have we become?


 
#2
Whatever you are having, I'll have a pint....then again best make it a half, I'm not as hardened to the effects....
 
#4
Kebab meat probably IS dinosaur.....
 
#5
Fuckinell!! He was having a pop at peppa pig only the other day.
 
#8
Thought this was going to be another thread on Corbyns political ideas!
 
#10
Dinosaurs and prehistoric animals....what's not to like? :)





 
#11
Because they are toys and children don't make those judgement calls until silly adults force them to.
nail, head, hit. And right there we have the answer to pretty much everything that is wrong with the world and/or makes us angry......
 
#13
Alternative view. They are brighter coloured and have more interesting shapes than mammals. The whole thing started as marketing for Jurassic park and has proved spectacularly successful so keeps going. Parents and other well meaning adults F**k kids up so many ways and this is one of the little ones if it's one at all. I wouldn't worry about the kids, but you may need counselling if these exaggerated worries continue to manifest themselves.
 
#14
I recently bought a large plastic jar of dinosaurs for a young child. I sensed it was a good investment because of the general enthusiasm for dinosaurs exhibited by the subject. In fact, this past year I have greatly increased my annual budget for purchasing dinosaur merchandise. In some months, I’m actually spending more money on dinosaurs than I am on kebab meat. So what’s it all about? Why do children clutch miniature plastic cold-blooded reptiles that became extinct long before mankind? I’ve got four hypotheses which are based mainly on common sense and which I’m sure you’ll be able to identify with.

Firstly, dinosaurs are a clichéd symbol of outmoded and irrelevant beliefs and values. By grasping the dinosaurs form, the inarticulate child is able to announce its rejection of the way of life that it sees within its parents. Long since adults have forgotten how they found the comfortable routine that they had to accept in order to be deemed acceptable and not be hunted by society for contravening man’s rules and regulations. Brandishing the dinosaur, the child is saying ‘I reject that which you accept as your way of life and express disappointment at how easily you abandoned your principles’. Harsh words you’ll agree, but you can see why young children cry so freely when you take their dinosaurs away from them.

In a similar way, the plastic toy dinosaur allows the child to elevate its status in a society where the dinosaur physically and metaphorically embodies how we are ruled and display deference to the leaders placed above us. When we stand to attention at a glass case containing dinosaur bones or at a museum display with a reconstructed, moving T-Rex, are we not teaching our children that we show our obedience to this ancient symbol? The similarities to how we comport ourselves whilst drinking toasts or stand to attention on parade is astounding.

Unfortunately, whilst the previous two paragraphs are meant to be light-hearted and won’t be a great revelation to the more critical thinkers amongst us, there is a more worrying side to dinosaur worship which requires more thought. Namely the promotion of polytheism through dinosaur toys. Children are made to literally worship the different types of dinosaurs (T-Rex, the one with the long neck, the flying one, the other one, etc...). Are we not risking the mortal souls of our very children by introducing them multiple idols? These are not Pokémon and we are not meant to catch them all. I’m troubled by children being introduced to idol worship especially when they see what elevated status and deference we pay to these unholy, Godless beasts. How long will it before the first person is killed to defend the honour of a dinosaur?!

People often scoff at David Icke and his theory of the Royal Family being shape shifting lizards but has anyone ever questioned how it is that we allow ourselves to blindly lead our children into meaningless lives of capitalism and consumerism without a cursory struggle? I’m obviously not calling the Royal Family shape shifting dinosaurs but why is nobody questioning how and why we, as a nation, are investing so much of our worldy treasures and our chances in the afterlife into promoting the status of dinosaurs onto successive generations? Who is it who benefits from forcing children to love dinosaurs if not dinosaurs themselves? What have we become when our own children turn to cold-blooded dinosaurs for tenderness and sanctuary?

Oh God. What have we become?


Go back to bed you knob.
 
#17
Dinosaurs are ģreat.

Ask any of the old twats on Arrse. They'll tell you, given half a chance.
 
#18
I recently bought a large plastic jar of dinosaurs for a young child. I sensed it was a good investment because of the general enthusiasm for dinosaurs exhibited by the subject. In fact, this past year I have greatly increased my annual budget for purchasing dinosaur merchandise. In some months, I’m actually spending more money on dinosaurs than I am on kebab meat. So what’s it all about? Why do children clutch miniature plastic cold-blooded reptiles that became extinct long before mankind? I’ve got four hypotheses which are based mainly on common sense and which I’m sure you’ll be able to identify with.

Firstly, dinosaurs are a clichéd symbol of outmoded and irrelevant beliefs and values. By grasping the dinosaurs form, the inarticulate child is able to announce its rejection of the way of life that it sees within its parents. Long since adults have forgotten how they found the comfortable routine that they had to accept in order to be deemed acceptable and not be hunted by society for contravening man’s rules and regulations. Brandishing the dinosaur, the child is saying ‘I reject that which you accept as your way of life and express disappointment at how easily you abandoned your principles’. Harsh words you’ll agree, but you can see why young children cry so freely when you take their dinosaurs away from them.

In a similar way, the plastic toy dinosaur allows the child to elevate its status in a society where the dinosaur physically and metaphorically embodies how we are ruled and display deference to the leaders placed above us. When we stand to attention at a glass case containing dinosaur bones or at a museum display with a reconstructed, moving T-Rex, are we not teaching our children that we show our obedience to this ancient symbol? The similarities to how we comport ourselves whilst drinking toasts or stand to attention on parade is astounding.

Unfortunately, whilst the previous two paragraphs are meant to be light-hearted and won’t be a great revelation to the more critical thinkers amongst us, there is a more worrying side to dinosaur worship which requires more thought. Namely the promotion of polytheism through dinosaur toys. Children are made to literally worship the different types of dinosaurs (T-Rex, the one with the long neck, the flying one, the other one, etc...). Are we not risking the mortal souls of our very children by introducing them multiple idols? These are not Pokémon and we are not meant to catch them all. I’m troubled by children being introduced to idol worship especially when they see what elevated status and deference we pay to these unholy, Godless beasts. How long will it before the first person is killed to defend the honour of a dinosaur?!

People often scoff at David Icke and his theory of the Royal Family being shape shifting lizards but has anyone ever questioned how it is that we allow ourselves to blindly lead our children into meaningless lives of capitalism and consumerism without a cursory struggle? I’m obviously not calling the Royal Family shape shifting dinosaurs but why is nobody questioning how and why we, as a nation, are investing so much of our worldy treasures and our chances in the afterlife into promoting the status of dinosaurs onto successive generations? Who is it who benefits from forcing children to love dinosaurs if not dinosaurs themselves? What have we become when our own children turn to cold-blooded dinosaurs for tenderness and sanctuary?

Oh God. What have we become?


This exactly
 
#19
Dinosaurs are ģreat.

Ask any of the old twats on Arrse. They'll tell you, given half a chance.
Absolutement, Mes cher Amis.... I concur....!!:)
 

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