Ding Dong Merrily On High ...

How will you spend Christmas?

  • Traditionally, at home with family/friends.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sh!ters and dribbling like a mong stuck to a window.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Working away from home.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • On duty.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • On Ops.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Being the Grinch/Scrooge ... bah fcuking humbug!

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Tis the season to be merry. Or not.

8000 miles away from home I have mixed emotions on this year’s Christmas celebrations. What to do I have to ask myself? I could join in with the local celebrations; Christmas Eve carols on Thursday night at the Whale Arch followed by mulled wine and minced pies. Then maybe visit local folk and wish them all the best for the festive season, shaking them vigorously by the hand and shouting “Merry Christmas”. Followed by a quiet Christmas day in the rented house sipping wine and watching TV whilst the turkey slowly cooks in the oven.

Or perhaps I should remind myself that the drab hovel that I currently abide in is possibly one of the most depressing places on earth and a Turkey plus veg at the West Store is going to set me back half a months dosh. So maybe instead of all that seasonal cheer and good spirit I will just get completely sh!ters until I collapse into a vomit and faeces releasing coma. Or maybe “Tis the season to make myself a Grinch outfit” and sneak out tomorrow night and do untold damage to anything festive.

What to do? What will you do? Will you be spending it with family and friends or lying in a gutter somewhere? Are you away from home with nothing more to look forward to than a boring day because you’re not allowed to work? Or worse still, with the prospects of yet another dusty day praying that you and your friends make it safe home?

For me this year is a “bah humbug” special!
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#3
I am hoping to achieve a subtle combination of the top two and bottom one this year. Usually Christmas is a case of my family and Mrs Ravers family fighting over our presence at their dinner table. This year I have told them all to ram it as I can't be arsed with the hassle. They all have an open invite to pop round to ours for a bit of ham which I am baking, however they will have to put up with the fact that I will be in an advanced state of refreshment by midday and I may have invited my homeless oppo over for drinks.
 
#4
I dunno what xmas is all about...bah humbug and all that.....it is all so greedy and comercialised....its a bag of pish. Thats why I am spending xmas in a drabber hovel then k13eod..(it only has 3/4 walls and hairy Polish people shouting all the time next door. Will there be turkey...will there hell. I shall enjoy a wank though.
 
#5
as i'm very ex-uniform,
i'll be doing Family orientated things on the day.

15 Christmases away whilst i was in, is enough.

I'll miss having the traditional mug of tea and scotch for breakfast though.

Merry Christmas to all those unable to do the same as me (or what they'd want to be doing instead).
 
#7
Family time for me. It's my parents' turn to host Chrimbo dinner this year, so all will congregate there for the traditional goose-fest and all the trimmings. Luckily, there's a few decent boozers nearby and the men of the various houses can ERV there once the Queen's speech is over. By that point, the kids will have had just enough trifle and nicked just enough unattended booze to keep the women distracted and therefore save us a fortune in smoke grenades.

The Jade Dream's taken to Christmas big-style and TBH much as I always plan to be a Grinch her enthusiasm is infectious. It's like having 3 kids in the house sometimes, but at least I don't get any argument about putting The Muppet Christmas Carol on.
 
#9
Humbug.
I am stuck in a more desolate and depressing hole than K13, and to make it worse it is my home so there is no chance of escape. Thank god the hippo in law isn't coming to stay, that really would suck the fun out of the p1ss up season.
 
#10
K13eod

Get your arrse to the Globe and get totally monged until Jan 3rd.
I've always thought someone could rig up a beautiful pyro display incorporating the whale arch....















.....obviously it would have to be someone who was pi$$ed and had a good knowledge of explosives........??????
 
#11
Murphy_Slaw said:
K13eod

Get your arrse to the Globe and get totally monged until Jan 3rd.
I've always thought someone could rig up a beautiful pyro display incorporating the whale arch....















.....obviously it would have to be someone who was pi$$ed and had a good knowledge of explosives........??????
Only got Friday & Saturday off so can't get monged right through to the 3rd :x

Plenty of the bangy stuff though ...
 
#12
Carol Singing and Turkey lunch in the Shangri-La Hotel in Abu Dhabi followed by a wee nap. Then a dip in the pool to cool off later.
 
#14
I'm nipping to the Salvcation Army for a couple of hours to feed the homeless. Nothing altruistic, it's just if I do that, my mum can't insist on my presence at Sfub Towers on the day of misery, so I can avoid my sister and her horrific offspring without a bollocking from my family, plus I get bonus points for being fluffy. I then get to go home, watch what I want,(festive porn) eat what I want (probably festive beans on toast) and not have to talk to my dull as fcuk football obsessed brother-in-law. Win-win.
 
#15
I am going to Saigon at ridiculous o clock in the morning for a dental appointment at 1130 - Saigon is a 5 hour drive from here. After that I will do a little shopping and in the evening will take Christmas dinner at the Caravelle hotel, which has probably the best (Western) restaurant in Vietnam. On Christmas day I will make the 5 hour drive back here to mosquito city and feast off fish bones, shattered chicken bones and rice. As usual.

I will however bring a few bottles of Aus red back with me. The LBFM will bring her sister who is a few years older to share a bottle of wine with me. They do interesting things after a drop of wine. Felicitations of the Season!
 

TheIronDuke

On ROPS
On ROPs
Book Reviewer
#17
k13eod said:
Christmas Eve carols on Thursday night at the Whale Arch
You are in Utah for Christmas? You lucky lucky man. Why not buzz down to Provo for the day? They are full of Christian charity in Provo, and many citizens have only four fingers and one thumb. Honest.

I shall be in the villa and awake with the sun to gaze down upon the azure Andaman sea. I shall find out if our gay house-boy Oui has got the hang of bacon and eggs yet, then kick him. He will tell me how sorry he is.

Then maybe fire up the horrible Septic 4x4 and mix it with the local moped Mafia. Then I shall get ratted and crash out on the beach. Then wake up and go out seeking festive amusement. My friends and family may please themselves what they do.

Happy Christmas to you, one and all. Even tiny wassname.
 
#18
Driving up to the in-laws in the middle of no where to install wood burning stove and leccy lights into their chapel ( Weird lot the in-laws).

Last year we did underfloor heating ;well it beats watching the queens speech :D
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#19
Utah? Try Port Fecking Stanley, have fun K13 and dont get pished and lose the other foot!
I will be on call from Midday friday for 7 days so I will have to drink a bottle of scotch for breakfast. Sadly I shant and will hopefully spend the hols backscuttling the frau, stalking her friends or just the nearest deer!
 
#20
ugly said:
Utah? Try Port Fecking Stanley, have fun K13 and dont get pished and lose the other foot!
I will be on call from Midday friday for 7 days so I will have to drink a bottle of scotch for breakfast. Sadly I shant and will spend the hols Getting moaned at by the frau, stalking her friends or just the nearest deer!
Fixed it for you :D
 
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