Ding Dong Bell

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by scrofula, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Quasimodo realises that he's getting a bit long in the tooth for the bellringing business and puts an ad in the local paper for an apprentice.
    The next day he's having breakfast when there's a knock at the belfry door. When he answers it Quasi finds a man with no arms standing there "I've come about the bellringer job" he says.
    Quasi is a bit taken aback ( you see what I did then!) and says " Far be it for me of all people to discriminate, but, well, you've got no arms"
    "I have a technique.." says the guy, somewhat mysteriously. Quasi is intrigued and trudges up the stairs with the guy. When they get to the bell-loft, the bloke takes several paces back and then runs full tilt at the bell and nuts it with all his might. Dinggggg. A bit stunned and dazed, he retraces his steps and takes another run. This time he misses the bell completely, goes straight through the window and lands in the square below with a wet thud.
    Quasi hurries down the steps and by the time he gets to the square, a small crowd has formed around the armless corpse. Quasi pushes his way through, and someone asks "Do you know this man?" To which Quasi replies " No , but his face rings a bell"

    The next morning there is another knock at the door, and when Quasi answers it, there's another armless man stood there. " Don't tell me," says Quasi " You've come about the bellringer job"
    "Well, " says the guy " You know the bloke who died yesterday? That was my brother, and I thought the least thing I could do to honour his memory is try for the job he wanted so much....and I have a technique" " Here we go again" thought Quasi as they trudged up the stairs.
    Sure enough, the guy takes a ginormous run and nuts the bell hard. Dingggg. On the second attempt he misses and goes shooting through the window to the square below. Quasi takes his time on the stairs this time, and as before pushes his way through the assembled throng. Someone asks him " Do you know this man?" Quasi rolls his eyes and says " No, but he's a dead ringer for someone else"

    Bonus. What do you call a piece of camembert, three frog's legs and half a baguette in a tupperware box? The lunchpack of Notre Dame.

    Taxi!