Did we get an an answer on opting out of the mess?

Discussion in 'Seniors' started by liamd, May 22, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Has anyone answered the question? Can you opt out of the mess or not? I read the responses many were funny but can we opt out?
    Been in many messes myself but now find I am unaccompanied, and having letters of none attendance denied.
    With less than a few years left, no longer care for my career just want to get home to see the family.
    Its not that i don't like the mess, just wonder do i have to spend time and money being some where i don't want to be?
  2. Yes you can, turn down the promotion and stay a Cpl!
    • Like Like x 4
  3. No, simple answer.

    Read QR's!

    Pay your dues, then don't bother turning up (unless your presence will be missed), waste of money but you can't have it both ways!
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Just because you only have a few years left and are just hanging on for your pension doesnt mean that you shouldnt be professional and do your job with all that goes along with it. If you feel that strongly about it why dont you just PVR and get a job closer to home and your family. No one is forcing you to stay in the Army. If you are hanging on for that golden handshake and pension at least do the right thing and do what is expected of you for that money. Man up and get on with it or get out, simple choices really.
    • Like Like x 5
  5. Yes you to be a member of A mess. Some corps' allow you to be a member of the central mess rather than a unit mess. You could but pay your mess bill and not turn up to mess function except where Italy be a Scale A, but then don't expect anyone to turn up to your leaving do either
  6. This is a question, to explore the possibilities not about PVR or getting a promotion from many years ago. just a simple question, are we allowed to opt out? No one at a leaving do, I would doubt anyone would get one if they opted out.
    Its certainly an emotive topic but are these the only answers, Get on or get out? seems totalitarian does it not?
  7. Stop bleating on the Internet, you're supposed to be a SNCO for goodness sake! If you are so interested in an answer, why not go and knock on the RSM's door and talk it through? Crimsonhussar has hit the nail on the head. You are (I assume) picking up a SNCO wage and living in the Mess rather than the block - I suspect you have no qualms about rocking up to the Mess for your bean stealer breakfasts etc? You can't cherry pick Mess privileges. This is either a very poor attempt at a wind-up, or you are a mediocre Sgt who is blocking the advancement of a thrusting Cpl. "Promotion from many years ago" you stated above - what happened after that, did you think you had made it and could just coast along after gaining that 3rd stripe? Says it all really.
  8. No harm to the OP but fack me: how the world's changed in the Internet age . Obviously the OP's gone NAAFI (no ambition... blah blah) about the career and so doesn't want to attend Mess meetings. Fair enough, he's being honest. It just seems a little bit funny to see this dripped on t'Internet. Speaking as the old fart that remembers three line whips even in Corporals' Clubs with Mess dress (no kidding) and never ever had a choice about attendance during five or so years in Messes. You had no choice, you took the money and sat there. Knots in cocks at Mess dinners, the wife crossed her legs for two feckin hours, and we all just got on with it. No offence OP.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I hadn't realised that the Army was a democracy. I acknowledge I have been out a long time, but I didn't think things have changed that much.
  10. God the op is a twat.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. hello

    so can anybody answer me that. i am a army wife for the last 15 years and my husband and i always went to mess functions.
    i am in our own house now and can`t get to the function because of my health . i have people looking after me in the week but not weekend. so does my husband still have to go to a function or can he come home on a weekend to be with his wife.
    some coments on here make me sick.
  12. It seems you were already in ill health before reading the comments? :)
    Seriously, if what you say is true, then your husband has strong mitigating circumstances and no Chain of Command with common sense is going to enforce his attendance at a weekend function just to stretch a point. Not sure if that would extend to weekend duties however.
    Hope you get better soon.
  13. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    Your asking a different question Saab. Assuming this isn't a wah, I'll bite.
    The OP asked if it was compulsory to be a member of a mess. Short answer, yes and the reasons are laid ouut in QRs.
    Your asking if your husband can be made to go to functions. That is up to the presiding member, my question does he/she know your circumstances.
  14. Contact the Unit Welfare Officer/Padre and stop bleating on here, if the comments on here make you sick then do not read them! The OP has been given his answers, pay your mess bills then **** off home and if he has to attend a 3 line whip, then he will have to get you a baby sitter!