Did anyone ever argue about the sausage(s)?

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Was watching some Bad News videos. A comment on one was about a scene where there's an argument about getting only one sausage

video blocked for me,
 
A chef at Ascension look out camp got dragged across the hotplate back in the early eighties by one of Them for rapping the knuckles of said Them with a spatula and coming out with the obligatory statement of "Only one sausage".
 
Can't get your video.
Did we argue about only having one sausage?
Not at Woolwich in the mid 1970s we didn't.
Cookhouse staff were of the Totenkopfverbände persuasion and comment was regarded as unwise.
However, in a rush of courage I once asked to see the cookhouse Master Chef (WO2) and told him that his food was excellent (lying through my teeth).
Oddly enough this act of gallantry got me some nice scoff which was sometimes put on one side for me.
Still only one sausage though.
 
A chef at Ascension look out camp got dragged across the hotplate back in the early eighties by one of Them for rapping the knuckles of said Them with a spatula and coming out with the obligatory statement of "Only one sausage".

chefs everywhere have been having that happen for ever, you'd think they'd learn
 
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Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
I remember one unit I was sent to where as per my usual SOP I used to go help the cooks when I had nothing else to do, good fun having egg cracking races and such and saved me getting dicked for regular KPs when they realised I could actually cook.

could eat what I wanted all night then come the breakfast queue - one fcuking sausage.

one day I was due to do range cover so went to get a few norgies of tea/coffee for the ambo for morale purposes as it was a rotten day and I'd got the lads some biccies - cos I'm nice like that and the idiots think they can trust the nicer medic who has a box of special magic plasters and non stingy boo boo cream.

up comes previous nights duty cookie with a 'Here you go GG just how you like em - shame to chuck em otherwise. Thanks for the help last night preciated.'

and Lo half a black bag full of well cooked snorkers and crispy bacon, a loaf of bread and some tommy K.

Me and scotty the driver - scoffed the lot while staring out at the pouring rain - I could have put an extra two pouches on my belt kit that afternoon I reckon.
 
As apprentices, we got the standard "one sauage" threat from the cooks. When we queried it, we ended up scrubbing pots so we declined to ask further. One fine day, which I still remember fondly, decades later,a young pilot officer,who was the Orderly Officer for the day and not yet bitter and twisted,came into the dining hall as we filed in for our grub at lunchtime. Part of his duties were to inspect the meals,see that they corresponded to the posted menu and sign the actual menu book.
Now, every OO,every day,came in,signed the book without bothering to actually read it and then effed off to the Mess for his own grub. The cooks were robbing rations like it was going out of fashion and anyone who challenged them could find bodily fluids in his food. This bright young Officer astonished everyone by asking for a plate of what the lads got, read the menu and only signed for it when he got a second sausage, ate the plate full right there and then called out the head Cook and asked where the bread rolls and yoghurts were. You could have heard a pin drop,as probably a hundred people heard him and waited for the blade to fall.
To our utter astonishment, bread rolls and yoghurts appeared and were distributed to the tables. We fell on them like wolves and scoffed the lot. The pilot simply signed the book and walked out. We were to busy eating to carry him shoulder high but the word flashed around the camp that a young brave soul had bucked the Cooks cartel and fed the lads the actual listed meal. It transpired that the only reason the rolls and yoghurts were on hand was that the cooks had been too slow to fill their swag bags and now they were caught and had to put the stuff out, every day. It was the beginning of the end for rampant theft of rations and the Dining hall was ultimately put out to civilian tender. All because of one unwitting young Pilot. Every time I reach fora second sausage, I salute him.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
I used to love the sausages in Omagh. I hated them in training at Catterick because they were usually pink.

We got to Tidworth and, whilst cooked properly, the sausages were fúcking disgusting. I asked the master chef whose name suggested he was crackers, sounds like butter, politely. Told me he thought the sausages were sh¡t too, but it's what were provided to him.

I largely gave up army breakfast at this point. Certainly I never attended regularly.
 
One chef behind the hotplate at Monty lines lost his mind and shouted out " don't you people ever eat anything but chips " everyone looked around at each other at this ridiculous question and another bin load of chips arrived and every one carried on .

Chips, chips , chips , chips, chips.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
I used to love the sausages in Omagh. I hated them in training at Catterick because they were usually pink.

We got to Tidworth and, whilst cooked properly, the sausages were fúcking disgusting. I asked the master chef whose name suggested he was crackers, sounds like butter, politely. Told me he thought the sausages were sh¡t too, but it's what were provided to him.

I largely gave up army breakfast at this point. Certainly I never attended regularly.
the bacon at some units used to scare me.

I worked at malton bacon factory the summer before I went full time so was very intimate with the process from pig to packet and I have no idea which part of the pig if indeed it was regular pig they made army bacon from, come to think of it when was chernobyl?

and how the fcuk can you get the yolk of an egg rock hard while the white stays runny - its against the laws of physics.

where's joker - answers must be had.
 
I was honoured to be chosen as a ration store man at 3 AFA, cushy job, half a days work on the computer (catpac) and the occasional trip to collect food with a 4 tonner.
Apparently I'd get to decide if I went on exercise or not,

I ended up in from the of the CO for asking not to be the ration store man.
 
I was honoured to be chosen as a ration store man at 3 AFA, cushy job, half a days work on the computer (catpac) and the occasional trip to collect food with a 4 tonner.
Apparently I'd get to decide if I went on exercise or not,

I ended up in from the of the CO for asking not to be the ration store man.
Bet you still only got one sausage, though . . .

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Bet you still only got one sausage, though . . .

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I used to almost live at one of the chefs houses (S***** W***), however his daughter came over from UK one weekend and she had a crush on me, I think I was lucky to ever be able to eat in the cookhouse ever again (his wife cooked at home so I'd always get fed there)

... and before you ask, no, I didn't.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
the bacon at some units used to scare me.

I worked at malton bacon factory the summer before I went full time so was very intimate with the process from pig to packet and I have no idea which part of the pig if indeed it was regular pig they made army bacon from, come to think of it when was chernobyl?

and how the fcuk can you get the yolk of an egg rock hard while the white stays runny - its against the laws of physics.

where's joker - answers must be had.
Don't ask me, every unit I worked at, breakfast was a one man show, fried eggs cooked by the lads themselves, poached and boiled to order. Bacon cooked under the grill, sausages in the fryer, everything else was done in the steamer. We only got streaky bacon in the main cookhouse, trayed up and grilled until slightly brown. Whilst breakfast was going on, I'd be busy getting lunch stuff prepped with an occasional visit to the hotplate to see what needed replenishing.
You'll find that the more chefs that there are on a breakfast shift, the worse it was.

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