Devastating news to wake up to - U2 tour: Bono says his voice is returning after Berlin show is cancelled

#1
Sorry to start the week on such a bum note but I guess we just have to hope it picks up from here.

Frankly I think that Bono would sound much better when silenced (not that I have heard him in person mind), this being a double win too, no caterwauling and no sanctimonious save the whatever lengthy sermons interspersing said caterwauling. I suppose we can only enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts.

Bono assures fans his voice is returning
 
#2
Not sure if its true but I heard a story that at one of his concerts he kicked into preachy mode and stood in silence slowly clapping as he announced to the crowd that "every time I clap a child in Africa dies from hunger" .. Apparently someone then shouted "Stop clapping then" and he duly threw his teddies out of the cot.

Its probably an urban myth but I want it to be true.
 
#3
Not sure if its true but I heard a story that at one of his concerts he kicked into preachy mode and stood in silence slowly clapping as he announced to the crowd that "every time I clap a child in Africa dies from hunger" .. Apparently someone then shouted "Stop clapping then" and he duly threw his teddies out of the cot.

Its probably an urban myth but I want it to be true.
I too have willed this to be true, even if not there might still be time yet.
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
I've always been impressed by the way Bono unhesitatingly gave away the hundreds of millions he's earned over the years in order to alleviate poverty in Africa. Thus leading by example.

Wordsmith

(This post may contain some element of sarcasm...)
 
#6
I'm sure that U2 fans are very disappointed.
Maybe they can recruit some other SJW singer, with a history of gobbing off about issues which they know nothing about, to take Bono's place as a stopgap measure?


 
#7
Oh the horror, I have been offended, where do I claim my compensation.

You would have thought Bonohead would have taken the hint from the imusic debacle.
 
#9
I've always been impressed by the way Bono unhesitatingly gave away the hundreds of millions he's earned over the years in order to alleviate poverty in Africa. Thus leading by example.

Wordsmith

(This post may contain some element of sarcasm...)
An occasion of the planets aligned to me was when U2 on stage at Glasto were greeted by a banner stating "U2" Pay Tax" and the banner holders were then escorted off the site.

A Tax Dodgers promotional event to which the dodgers themselves are ferried in and out by helicopter to earn even more filthy lucre, maybe the helicopter returned them to their Irish castles via Luxembourg where several heavy suitcases were dropped off.
 
#10
I'm sure that U2 fans are very disappointed.
Maybe they can recruit some other SJW singer, with a history of gobbing off about issues which they know nothing about, to take Bono's place as a stopgap measure?


Has sinead calmed down since those tweets a few years back where she was begging for @n@l sex
 
#12
The satnav on my car let’s you select Bono’s voice. It’s as ******* useless as a U2 record.

The streets have no name and i stil can’t find what I’m looking for.

I’m just paying off the taxi.
 
#13
Such a shame he turned into a pretentious cnut. Been doing a "back to my yoof" music thing lately and have had The Joshua Tree on repeat for a bit. Great album, and the U2 of the 80s were feckin excellent.
 
#14
I've always been impressed by the way Bono unhesitatingly gave away the hundreds of millions he's earned over the years in order to alleviate poverty in Africa. Thus leading by example.

Wordsmith

(This post may contain some element of sarcasm...)
This is why I dont like Red nose day and similar campaigns, all rich celebs and footballers asking us for money when they are all loaded.
 
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#15
Such a shame he turned into a pretentious cnut. Been doing a "back to my yoof" music thing lately and have had The Joshua Tree on repeat for a bit. Great album, and the U2 of the 80s were feckin excellent.
Agreed.
First time I saw them was on totp in 1981(?).
I though they were fecking brilliant.
Such a shame that Mr.Hewson started feeling guilty about all that money he made.
 
#20
Just thank god it’s him instead of you.

I’ll walk you home...
The ultimate U2 shaggy dog story……..not mine of course

It's Christmas time, and U2 have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs. They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.

'What's the matter The Edge?' he says.
'Ah look it's nothing Bono' says the guitarist, 'It's just - you know that Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad.'
'Well, The Edge,' replies Bono, 'if you want to pull out of the gigs you just say so.'
Edge shakes his head. 'No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me - I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts.'

'That's the spirit The Edge', says Bono, and so that night they take the stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax, because it's for charity, they're going to perform 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen Jr. and his drumkit.
'Jaysis The Edge!' yells Larry, 'Those are brand new drums! What the hell are you doing?'
Poor Edge is mortified. 'Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry, it's this flu.'

Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. 'The Edge, that was disgusting, I don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not well.'
'No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the show must go on.'
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as 'Do They Know It's Christmas' starts Edge begins to feel sick. He desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over. Copiously.
'Me best leather waistcoat!' howls Adam Clayton, 'The Edge you're more beast than man!'
Edge is white as a sheet. 'Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more sorry.'

Bono is furious after the gig. 'The Edge you've gone too far this time, you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill in tomorrow, you've got to rest up.'
Edge is almost in tears, 'Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise, you have to let me play.'
'OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2.'

The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even 'Discotheque' sounds alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start 'Do They Know It's Christmas' and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy and really belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - 'Bono I can explain, I'm truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am.'

Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says:

wait for it
.
.
.
.
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'Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew.'
 

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