Design fault warning

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ciggie, Sep 5, 2010.

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  1. Model : Female/ All shapes and sizes

    Critical fault : Timekeeping. Incapable of arriving at an appointment or a workplace at the appointed time, ever.

    Suggestions as to a repair policy please.....
  2. There is no repair policy on this P(phukt) class Item. Although proper accounts must be kept for future audits.
    Simply 1043 the Item and apply for local disposal.

  3. All told, the number of design faults in this model make me wonder how it was ever released on the market in the first place, let alone achieved such popularity. The much-heralded multitasking feature was described as a USP in all the pre-release literature but seems to be completely absent from the production model. As evidence, the inability to simultaneously:

    Walk past a shop and look in the direction of travel.

    Walk past a shop and retain awareness of the world around them.

    Walk past a shop while controlling offspring.

    Walk past a shop while breathing.

    Watch a film while not asking idiotic and self-evident questions on the plot.

    Drive a car while acting in a safe, courteous and considerate fashion (although admittedly this fault also is present in other models in the same range).
  4. Gentlemen, the problem exists between keyboard and chair. Like any top-spec devices one must thoroughly acquaint themselves with them before they can fully use such items to their full potential.

    These items are not broken. You lot just don't know how to use them.
  5. This may help:

  6. No, no, pre-digital ( snarf, snarf ) post-digital, the model cannot keep time. Program a time in, and rubbish comes out... it's a dsesign fault