Desert Island essentials?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Swagger, Mar 9, 2003.

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  1. There are a lot of top fives floating around at the moment. So what are your Desert Island top five essentials.

    A decent hooker
    Endless beer
    Endless smokes (both kinds)
    A KFC outlet
    A sh*t load of gats
  2. 1. Viggo Mortenson/POD (at least he'd stop me getting too comfortable... ;))
    2. Complete works of Laurens van der Post
    3. Sudocream (haven't found anything it hasn't cured yet.....)
    4. Magic Guinness fountain
    5. My rather battered edition of the Kama Sutra
  3. 1. The entire EC yellow handbag mountain
    2. Everything by the Art of Noise
    3. Computer broadband connected and MOHAA
    4. Joely Richardson
    5. Everything written by George MacDonald Fraser
  4. 1. Chris Ryan
    2. Sunhat
    3. Suncream
    4. Sunglasses
    5. Chocolate
  5. 1. A knife

    2. My Reef and Counting Crows CD's (oh and James        
    Taylors Greatest hits 1972)

    3. A rugby ball

    4. A never ending bottle of John Daniels

    5. A bottomless pot of my mum's chilli (she adds baked beans-wonderful!!)
  6. 1.  Fags
    2.  Fags
    3.  Fags
    4.  Extra fags
    5.  Lighter.
  7. 1.  The new David Gray CD and a CD player (to play it on).
    2.  7.62 SLR and ammo.
    3.  Endless supply of Carlsberg (possibly the best lager in the world?).
    4.  A train set and batteries.
    5.  Endless supply of Andrex.
  8. 1. sh*t loads of guns
    2. endless beer tap
    3. My rugby club (incl bar)
    4. plenty of tom clancy books
    5. the Minouge sisters.
  9. A decent knocking shop

    A load of shooters .  (in case the Beaatches don't do anal)

    Guinness. (endless supply) (Not very original, I know)

    A decent fluffer in case I drink too much Guinness in the Knocking shop.

    A good kebab shop that I can smash up after leaving the Knocking shop at 4 am.
  10. Lippy my dear,

    Only close friends of Jack get to call him John and we go  back a long way.

    :)  :)  :)
  11. 1.  Cement mixer
    2.  Assorted garden furniture
    3.  Pipe cleaners
    4.  Packet of chewing gum
    5.  A golf ball
  12. Que??!!!!  Please explain!!

    Hey, and what's this  "show me a woman etc etc" about??! :eek:
  13. You wouldn't understand Prod'.

    And the title is for all those 20st male builders masquerading as women on this site.
  14. I can vouch for Prod being female.

    ;D ;D ;D
  15. What the fcuk is that all about are you some Tommy Walsh?Alan FUKCIN Titchmarsh luvvin Mr Muscle "PIPE CLEANING" NICK fLAMMING fALDO SCHWANNGER  WHAT THE FCUK ARE YOU ON  I want some!!! (Wriggles up the butt ............I get it!!!!!) Fukcin HOM.