Desert Island essentials?


There are a lot of top fives floating around at the moment. So what are your Desert Island top five essentials.

A decent hooker
Endless beer
Endless smokes (both kinds)
A KFC outlet
A sh*t load of gats
1. Viggo Mortenson/POD (at least he'd stop me getting too comfortable... ;))
2. Complete works of Laurens van der Post
3. Sudocream (haven't found anything it hasn't cured yet.....)
4. Magic Guinness fountain
5. My rather battered edition of the Kama Sutra
1. The entire EC yellow handbag mountain
2. Everything by the Art of Noise
3. Computer broadband connected and MOHAA
4. Joely Richardson
5. Everything written by George MacDonald Fraser
1. A knife

2. My Reef and Counting Crows CD's (oh and James        
Taylors Greatest hits 1972)

3. A rugby ball

4. A never ending bottle of John Daniels

5. A bottomless pot of my mum's chilli (she adds baked beans-wonderful!!)


1.  Fags
2.  Fags
3.  Fags
4.  Extra fags
5.  Lighter.
1.  The new David Gray CD and a CD player (to play it on).
2.  7.62 SLR and ammo.
3.  Endless supply of Carlsberg (possibly the best lager in the world?).
4.  A train set and batteries.
5.  Endless supply of Andrex.


1. sh*t loads of guns
2. endless beer tap
3. My rugby club (incl bar)
4. plenty of tom clancy books
5. the Minouge sisters.
A decent knocking shop

A load of shooters .  (in case the Beaatches don't do anal)

Guinness. (endless supply) (Not very original, I know)

A decent fluffer in case I drink too much Guinness in the Knocking shop.

A good kebab shop that I can smash up after leaving the Knocking shop at 4 am.
I can vouch for Prod being female.

;D ;D ;D


1.  Cement mixer
2.  Assorted garden furniture
3.  Pipe cleaners
4.  Packet of chewing gum
5.  A golf ball
What the fcuk is that all about are you some Tommy Walsh?Alan FUKCIN Titchmarsh luvvin Mr Muscle "PIPE CLEANING" NICK fLAMMING fALDO SCHWANNGER  WHAT THE FCUK ARE YOU ON  I want some!!! (Wriggles up the butt ............I get it!!!!!) Fukcin HOM.

I think thats the nicest thing I've ever said to you

Now then, to your knees my elderly ginger tempstress ;D
Apologies. Im not a JD drinker, obviously. Didnt realise you were so close to John"


We've shared many a night listening to the angry vocals and guitar harmonies  of Reef whilst trying to purge a disloyal bint from my mind.

My 'windy Island' would be fine as only I'd be on it. You can still come Tuesdays and Thursdays though.  :)  :)  :)  


And the title is for all those 20st male builders masquerading as women on this site.
I may be 20st, (or maybe a bit less) but I can assure you I'm all woman!!! (I was last time I looked)  ;D
20 stone, what does your old man do, roll you in flour to find the wet bits ;D

New Posts

Latest Threads