Desert Island Dicks.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SausageDog, Jun 22, 2013.

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  1. Ok, look up, listen in.

    Here's the format, don't know if it's been done before, no doubt Jarrod will be on my case if it has...

    You're stranded on a desert island, maybe for the rest of your life, all the people you love and value in life are at home, wondering where the fuck you got to.

    A genie appears, and asks you which 3 Arrseholes you'd like to spend the rest of your days with, or at least until you get rescued, if you do.

    So, I want you all to pick 3 Arrsers, and state why you'd have them as your Desert Island Dick.

    For instance:

    1. Pig Gunner - A good bloke with a relaxed outlook on life, seems chilled and humorous, and probably a bloody good bloke to have around.

    2. Supermatelot - Seems to have some level headed viewpoints on life, and I doubt he'd drive me to murder, like many other cunts on here would.

    3. Porridge Gun - Don't know much about the chap, but he seems on the level, speaks his mind, and would be good for some fireside banter and naked wrestling.

    Get the idea?

    Ok, now for the tricky bit...

    You also have to vote for one person who you'd bury at sea: This is the person you'd murder as they swam ashore after the shipwreck by bludgeoning their head with a piece of deck timber, from the wreckage.


    Zero Over - An utter throbber, full of his own self importance and Daily Mail sensibility. Annoying at the best of times, and a total twat the remainder.

    Lets's see what you got?
  2. Snail, need something to snog
    Jumping Jarhead, he has cool toys
    Pig Gunner, cos he is my swim buddy

    JP47 buried out at sea, total prick, hope he roman candles in
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  3. Thanks Dave, exactly the sort of thing I wanted.

    Can I just ask you all not to turn this into a slagging match please, say your piece, and retreat.

    I don't want this to become another popcorn event between Steven Seagul and Markintime.
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  4. 22 views and one reply. Scare of alienating ourselves maybe?
  5. Righto cute little doggy, I'll jump in.

    1) Sausage Dog because you seem like like a fantastic judge of character and should be good for a laugh or two. :mrgreen:

    2) ACAB because he has yarns out the wazoo and should take on the natural role of mediator if the shit hits the fan between castaways.

    3) One of the female members (may have to do a lottery but Schermuly seems like a nice lady), I'm not getting my prong pooey or rectum stretched oversize for anybody!

    Now to bury some poor bastard.....It's a hard ask seeing as how I'm just judging by internet rantings and don't really know any of the posters personally, even the total ballbags on here have their own charm. But if it's a rule of the game then it has to be bat boner Badger_heed. That cunt of cunts has apparently never had a hug from mummy, and was made to run behind the car when they went away on road trips. It's probably just a head injury though.

    The Genie had better supply the beer too!
    • Like Like x 3

  6. I am all sad that I am not on the dream team :rambo:
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  7. I would have picked you too Dave, but clowns give me the heebie-jeebies. ;-)
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  8. That's what this thread is designed to bring out, people's loyalties, and lack of. Oh well, Piggy and I will send you a postcard.
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  9. Can I choose Mike Tierney AKA Sausagedog the fucking ovary.
  10. If you can make that into a sentence, then yes.
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  11. Froma brief Google, and a whizz through Arrsepedia, it would appear that the fat schnuzzler to whom you refer Jarrod, was called 'jeromesausage' NOT my handle, SausageDog.
  12. You Fish supper stealing wretch.

  13. I'm disappointed.

    Where have your usual monosyllabic retorts gone?

    You know,


    Fuck off.


    Fuck off cunt.

    Fuck off sock puppet.

    Cunt off fuck socket.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Jarrod has never "Cock"ed anyone on here. "Cunt"ed them, possibly, but not "Cock".

    OK, I will take:

    1. Jarrod - he's good at cooking and always makes me laugh. Especially when his satnav doesn't know what it's doing. "It's sending us back in the wrong fucking direction".

    2. maguire. In case I can't sleep at night and he wants to talk about sci-fi films to me. Always a winner. Also, if we run out of food, we could render him down and live for about a year on one of his legs.

    3. Zero_Over. He can take the photos. He also annoys the living shit out of you, which cheers me up no end.

    I've got a few back-ups but you said I'm only allowed 3.

    Person to put under the patio?

    1. Sausage Dog. He won't tell us why he was in prison.
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Fuck me,another thread in my honour.

    This one has been started by someone I offended by saying that a convicted child sex offender is a paedophile.

    Coincidentally he won't say why he went to prison.

    Join the dots, people.
    • Like Like x 1