I've missed work today for the first time in about 5 years. The last was cos I was having my appendix out, and before that I can't remember how far back it was.
Nothing physically wrong with me; slight hangover but I've had worse. I just couldn't face it.
Had a lot of pressures the past year or so, starting when my ex left (please no snide comments on this thread Biscuits - by all means attack in the Naafi
) and compounded by various business & personal matters.
Most people who know me consider that I've coped pretty well - always got a smile or a bit of humour, always ready to help out, always reliable. But the truth is I've been heading for depression.
So, today I couldn't face the normal "put a bright face on". I'm missing work, and I've booked in to see my doctor this afternoon. No doubt he'll offer pills. I know the pills won't cure the problems, but I also know they'll help me to face them and to cope with them myself. I hope he'll also be able to offer someone to talk to. Because as I start to face them, I know that I'll need help making sense of some of the screaming chaos that lies behind the cheerful front at times.
So why am I posting this?
Because "depression" is a dirty word. It means you're "mental", it's something "wrong" with you, it's a sign of weakness.
I've suffered depression before, and I expect I will again. I know it's really none of the above and I've learnt that the only real way to beat it is with help and support. I also know it's crippling if you let it go too far and that at a certain point even reaching for the support you need becomes too much to face.
So I'm reaching for it before that point arrives. Laugh at me if you like, see me as weak if you wish. But if you ever find yourself missing work because you simply can't face it, remember this post and know that there IS an alternative.
LJ
Nothing physically wrong with me; slight hangover but I've had worse. I just couldn't face it.
Had a lot of pressures the past year or so, starting when my ex left (please no snide comments on this thread Biscuits - by all means attack in the Naafi
Most people who know me consider that I've coped pretty well - always got a smile or a bit of humour, always ready to help out, always reliable. But the truth is I've been heading for depression.
So, today I couldn't face the normal "put a bright face on". I'm missing work, and I've booked in to see my doctor this afternoon. No doubt he'll offer pills. I know the pills won't cure the problems, but I also know they'll help me to face them and to cope with them myself. I hope he'll also be able to offer someone to talk to. Because as I start to face them, I know that I'll need help making sense of some of the screaming chaos that lies behind the cheerful front at times.
So why am I posting this?
Because "depression" is a dirty word. It means you're "mental", it's something "wrong" with you, it's a sign of weakness.
I've suffered depression before, and I expect I will again. I know it's really none of the above and I've learnt that the only real way to beat it is with help and support. I also know it's crippling if you let it go too far and that at a certain point even reaching for the support you need becomes too much to face.
So I'm reaching for it before that point arrives. Laugh at me if you like, see me as weak if you wish. But if you ever find yourself missing work because you simply can't face it, remember this post and know that there IS an alternative.
LJ