Rather than totally mess up the Alcohol Abuse thread, I thought I'd start this one instead. Please don't see this as a 'look at me' thread, this is a serious issue and one that is often misread by non-sufferer. I have suffered from Depression for many years. Every time I think I have beaten it, and that's the end of that. But no, it comes back. This time it is the worst episode ever. I am almost non-functional, to the extent that I am not able to work. This is not a case of "chin up", "smile, it may never happen". To be honest, those phrases are almost certain to make a sufferer have to massively control themselves from beating the living daylights out of you. As well as the typical low mood and episodes of emotional breakdown, I have bouts of almost uncontrollable rage. At one point I wanted to kill someone and a friend saw the look in my eyes and extracted me from the situation - she seriously thought I was going to commit murder. I can't concentrate for more than a few minutes - so my OH won't let me cook when she's not home in case I burn the house down or injure myself. My short term memory is shot - I have to write everything I do down, or else I forget I've done it and my OH has to write everything I need to do each day in a diary, I have anxiety attacks. The other day I needed to go into a shop. Someone was walking towards me in the isle and we did the left-right-left-right dance. He chuckled and said sorry. I was a sweating, shaking, nauseous wreck - I had to get out and sit down. So now I have been deemed unfit for work. I am seeing a Lt Col SMO and a Consultant Psychiatrist. They are settling in for the long haul I think. The difficult thing is not knowing. If I had a broken leg I know that in x weeks the cast comes off, in y weeks the physio starts and in about z weeks everything will be fine. Depression is not so clear cut. I am on Anti-Depressants, and slowly these are beginning to work. They are only a crutch though, not the cure. Depression is a lonely existence. Many folk have been in touch from here, from Facebook and from the Real World offering help, support and advice, and I genuinely appreciate and thank them for that. I am opening this up to you lot for your experiences so that I, and others may learn something.