deleted.

#2
Mate of mine on his brecon i cant remember junior or senior, on stag with a GPMG somehow manages to let one off without trying, as quick as possible he carries on blatting and when the ds come over he points enemy at some forestry block 200yds away no enemy there so instead of a charge and getting RTUed he just gets called a blind fcuker.
 
#3
On a Medman when I was a nig, I didnt check properly on an unload and sent one down the range.

"Who was that?"

Stuck my hand up

"Put the weopon down"

Layed the gat down on the ground and the armouror inspected it whilst I went for a stroll around the range. Rifle found not to be faulty and warned for orders.

Just before endex a few weeks later, I was flown by my OC to battlegroup HQ where there was a queue of about 20 blokes all getting done for NDs. One bloke had let a chain gun go over his OCs head and there had already been a casualty earlier in the Ex when someone had shot his mate up the arrse accidently during a night exercise.

The blokes who went before me were coming back with £400 fines and I was seeing my future R&R as pretty dull, I was Beasted over to the D&Ds CO and he read the charge. He asked me if I'd done it, I replied yes, he told me that my boss had said nice things about me, nice. the he ripped into me for a bit.

Then came the suprise, apparently the bloke who gave my weopon the once over was not qualified to do so, so even though I had admitted it he had to let me go scott free.

Still got Ragged back to the holding area though.
 
#4
A mate from basic got done for an ND at ASMT Leconsfield in 90 or 91.

He wanted the Guchhi SA80 but wasn't concerted but said 'Yeah, no problem' and set one off..... it wasn't half funny to see him being doubled around by the really fat RSDG Provo Sgt...... :)
 

RMA1

War Hero
#5
LO in bosnia took out the Comd Gp of the unit he was attached to (about 6-7 blokes) with one 9 mil round. the thing went off straight down, hit the floor and splintered during an O'Gp. every one fron the CO down got a piece.
 
#6
"hows this miniflare work ? right so you screw this bit in pull this bit back and oh fuck" Sets his ammo pouch alight fortunately was close to river
so he was pushed into and sat on till nearly drowned .
 
#7
Sat in a platoon ambush in training. Everybodies doing their nodding dog impressions and struggling to stay awake. One guy (the grenadier) nods off and wakes up to the belief that the ambush has been sprung, strikes t-bang, lobs and then realises the ambush hasn't been sprung at all!
 
#8
A Chilean Colonel managed to let one off in the toilets at Banja Luka at 0800 on a Sunday morning.

What would you be doing with a loaded pistol in the heads.....
 
#9
STANTA sometime in the early 80's. Skirmish line moving through wood line. A_A has t-flash and decides that he can get it off quicker when we get bumped if he holds the striker to the rear of the stock of his gat and the t-flash in his pistol grip hand so they are real close together. The wood line starts getting dense with undergrowth and the dynamic A_A is using the muzzle of the gat to push aside brambles etc. Suddenly there's this hissing sound from right in front of A_A. First thought is that there's a baddie right down in front of me who just struck a t-flash... Fecker... A_A will show him... Looks down to find t-flash merrily burning away... 8O F$CK... "Grenade" he yells and lobs it forward... OC comes rushing over

OC: "What you got A_A"... "

A_A: "Nothing Sir..."

OC: "Then why did you throw a t-flash?"

A_A: "Dunno how Boss but the fecker just ignited on it's own", (checking that the striker is now deep in his pocket)

OC: "Oh.. Ok..." and fecks off back into line

A_A Thinks: "WTF... He bought that?????" 8)
 
#10
Otterburn CQB range - I was to pull the for levers for the Training Captain, who was a regular badged SAS.

We did a dry run .... fine. He then loaded SMG and asked me what the IAs were for the weapon, half-turning as he did so. Before I could answer there were 3 rounds by my feet.

I didn't bother explaining what the IAs were for an ND, and nothing more was said about it. There was no shoot to kill policy at Otterburn it seems.
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#11
PlasticCabDriver said:
A Chilean Colonel managed to let one off in the toilets at Banja Luka at 0800 on a Sunday morning.
What would you be doing with a loaded pistol in the heads.....
Wouldnt be the first time...........
 
#12
Saw a quality one in Germany a few years back on the 9mm range, CHENMP was conducting a basic pistol shoot and I was a safety supervisor, a "Tim nice but dim" type bloke was on the range at this time and CHENMP says to him "Whats the condition of your weapon?" noticing that his hammer was back when it shouldnt have been, as he said this, the Tim nice but dim type bloke looks at CHENMP and symaltaneously pulls the trigger, shooting the ground less than a foot in front of him and covering me with sh*t in the process, CHENMP says to him "What have you just fcuking done?" "Nothing" was the reply! "You have just had an ND!" "No I havent" he says with a confused look on his face, "Tell him M2G!" So despite fits of laughter I managed to inform the fcukwit he had had an ND! and he still had the bollox to insist he hadnt! Good job he has since transfered to Corps where they dont use pistols as much!
 
#13
back of a sherpa van in NI im sitting by back door my lmg gunner sitting next to me ,,we hit a bump-drain-- in road his lmg cocks and fires all in one movement bullet misses my head by cms,,blows my beret off..i think weve been attacked and orders debus,, driver hits breaks we debus franticly cocking weapons and getting ready for incoming--when a sheepish
lmg gunner says,, i think it was me corp...
hes on cos im wittness, gets marched in did you check his gun was clear,, yes ,,was safty on yes,,,co then says ok lets check the gun armourer gets gun,drill, with soap in back to check for firing pin strike,, bangs gun on butt ,, nothing,,
co then says lets see the van and where you were all sitting,,
we drive 50 meters hit a hole gun cocked and fired,,,
case admonished,,lucky mg gunner buys me lots of beer for scaring the f,,,out of me...-good co,,,
 
#14
My grandad's-whilst buttoning up the breech cover on his SMLE-round through the arm. 1917 near Arras, he was court martialled for negligently self inflicted wound. Med discharge to service bn. Given the casualties his company suffered later it might well have saved his life
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
Had a recruit at Rifle Depot many years ago who was a total mong. On ranges, when given unload (slr0 he would always, when clearing weapon, have an Nd. ( Were called accidentals in those days). he was 252d and put up to coy cdr. Fined, marched out, extra instruction. next time, two days later, same thing. Again followed routine to coy cdr, After his 4th time, we were told to stop picking on him.
He was incapable of clearing weapon. Always, repeat, always cocked weapon, removed mag, squeezed off.
Finished up going to 'Them' after 2 years. Poor bastards!
 
#16
I knew one guy who was fcuking about with a browning 9mm,what he was doing was dropping the mag sneaky like then cocking it and given you the dead mans click,well he did it one time and never dropped the mag far enought cocked it put one up the spout pointed it at another guys head missed him by inches, smell of sh it everywhere
 
#17
jaybee2786 said:
I new one guy who was fcuking about with a browning 9mm,what he was doing was dropping the mag sneaky like then cocking it and given you the dead mans click,well he did it one time and never dropped the mag far enought cocked it put one up the spout pointed it at another guys head missed him by inches, smell of sh it everywhere
Sounds like a first class nob.
 
#18
Cait said:
jaybee2786 said:
I new one guy who was fcuking about with a browning 9mm,what he was doing was dropping the mag sneaky like then cocking it and given you the dead mans click,well he did it one time and never dropped the mag far enought cocked it put one up the spout pointed it at another guys head missed him by inches, smell of sh it everywhere
Sounds like a first class nob.
Seconded, why have an enemy when there are pricks like that about.
 
#19
RMP Units in BAOR during the 1980s were just one huge indoor range. I returned from Hong Kong to 110 in Sennelager to find a whole Pro coy living on fantasy Island.

The OC was ex RCT Dvr, commissioned into RMP did a short attachment with Para Reg and the a tour with the SAS. In the words of Milligan 'a complete cnut'. 2IC was an Ex RM OR commissioned into RMP, WO1 (don't call them RSMs cos they're not) was a drunken fart and the Trg WO2 was a Chinese guy, the only one with half a clue between them.

My first shift I checked the weapons for handover to find that the pistols were all cocked and hooked up on their safety catches. All of the mags had five rounds in and five by the side so the springs were compressed.

The Ord Sgt handing over? Ex Booty with more badges than Baden Powell who thought this was cool stuff. Three weeks later one of his shift lets one off due to applying mag with five rounds and letting the working parts forward before squeezing trigger and I think he was CP.

Yep RMP BAOR fired more rounds than CMP did during WW2
 
#20
Mag_to_grid said:
Cait said:
jaybee2786 said:
I new one guy who was fcuking about with a browning 9mm,what he was doing was dropping the mag sneaky like then cocking it and given you the dead mans click,well he did it one time and never dropped the mag far enought cocked it put one up the spout pointed it at another guys head missed him by inches, smell of sh it everywhere
Sounds like a first class nob.
Seconded, why have an enemy when there are pricks like that about.
Had an RAOC retread in Mountpottinger Police station who liked doing this. My response? Cocked SLR gave full Yellow Card Warning, aimed and released safety catch. He didn't do it again. And yes, I would have.
 

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