Defining the North East. For the record.

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by TheIronDuke, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    The North East of England is, the North East of England. That is to say, Newcastle upon Tyne.

    We'll include anything up to Berwick upon Tweed. Apart from Amble, Beadnell or Newton by the Sea which, lets face it, have all been taken over by Yuppie ponces. Seahouses is all right, but Bamburgh wants to get a ******* grip before it slides into Poncehood. A decent butchers shop and a canny pub is all very well, but watch it.

    Moving south, the bit of Gateshead that includes Sage Newcastle, Baltic Newcastle, and The Angel of Newcastle is safe.

    Washington? You will need to answer some questions regarding football teams, and the ownership of keys. You are suspect. And you live in a shithole.

    South of Washington Services on the A1. Its the midlands.

    Are we clear?
     
  2. I would say the southernmost point is Middlesbrough. Your right about one thing though, Washington is an utter shitehole
     
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Boro is sound. But anywhere south of Great Ayton is the midlands. And Newton Aycliffe is ******* Wales.
     
  4. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    salad cream on the donner kebabs, the freaks.
     
  5. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    All Northern Monkeys
     
  6. You've been watching 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' again aintchoo Tom?

    You ******* hat.
     
  7. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer



    your kind words are music to my ears, oh and who did you serve with m lud pray tell.
     
  8. South of Scotch Corner darling, or fear my wrath and my dog's.
     
  9. Why, thanks...... Mind your wallet.

    Oh and get me somethiing good to bid for - this overdraft is not going to help itself!
     
  10. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    I have a certain Mr Depp in my sights slugs and at a boozzer you like, his sunnies or shreddies your choice
     
  11. The Super Special Royal Artillery Cookhouse Covert/Overt Forward Observation and Insertion Ops Team.

    So fookin wotchit.
     
  12. I'd say it starts at the Boro in the south and goes up to Alnick. Anything north of that is Reever/ersatz Porridge wog territory.
     
  13. The North East?

    A dreary, cold, rainy place where the natives wander about semi naked even in the depths of winter?

    The unpleasant end of the A66 and A69? Even the Romans named a bit Wallsend (Latin for the end of civilisation), and they knew a thing or two about rough bits of Europe.

    An area with a fecking great tin fairy on the roadside to warn all they're entering pagan-dom?

    Where people hung a primate once, and not a religious one, either?

    Where even a prime heifer is a "bonny lass" after a few glasses of "dog"?

    Naah, I'll stick to civilised places like Glasgow, thanks all the same.
     
  14. Sorry to be awkward, but the southern end of the North East isn't defined by simple east-west and north-south lines. At the coast it includes Whitby. It then skirts round the edge of the North York Moors National Park as far as Stokesley (not included). It's a little vague between there and Scotch Corner. From Scotch Corner, the southern boundary follows the A66 to the crest of the Pennines, this forming the western boundary as you head north.

    As TheIronDuke infers, the area north of the River Aln is not part of the North East, but forms part of the DMZ known as the English Borders. This explains why the Coldstream Guards are recruited predominantly from Yorkshire - they're trained to deploy at short notice to the area of No Man's Land that bears their name to defend against the Devils in Skirts.

    Sorry Dale. Your territory isn't the North East. As I've mentioned before, you live in the Dales. You should be happy that someone chose to name the area after you.
     
  15. The other defining factor is demographic. The North East is a mixture of industrial and fishing. There is no room for farmers. Their land just gets in the way of the mines.