Defining the North East. For the record.

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
The North East of England is, the North East of England. That is to say, Newcastle upon Tyne.

We'll include anything up to Berwick upon Tweed. Apart from Amble, Beadnell or Newton by the Sea which, lets face it, have all been taken over by Yuppie ponces. Seahouses is all right, but Bamburgh wants to get a ******* grip before it slides into Poncehood. A decent butchers shop and a canny pub is all very well, but watch it.

Moving south, the bit of Gateshead that includes Sage Newcastle, Baltic Newcastle, and The Angel of Newcastle is safe.

Washington? You will need to answer some questions regarding football teams, and the ownership of keys. You are suspect. And you live in a shithole.

South of Washington Services on the A1. Its the midlands.

Are we clear?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
Boro is sound. But anywhere south of Great Ayton is the midlands. And Newton Aycliffe is ******* Wales.
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
salad cream on the donner kebabs, the freaks.
 
#8
The North East of England is, the North East of England. That is to say, Newcastle upon Tyne.

We'll include anything up to Berwick upon Tweed. Apart from Amble, Beadnell or Newton by the Sea which, lets face it, have all been taken over by Yuppie ponces. Seahouses is all right, but Bamburgh wants to get a ******* grip before it slides into Poncehood. A decent butchers shop and a canny pub is all very well, but watch it.

Moving south, the bit of Gateshead that includes Sage Newcastle, Baltic Newcastle, and The Angel of Newcastle is safe.

Washington? You will need to answer some questions regarding football teams, and the ownership of keys. You are suspect. And you live in a shithole.

South of Washington Services on the A1. Its the midlands.

Are we clear?
South of Scotch Corner darling, or fear my wrath and my dog's.
 
#9
All Northern Monkeys
Why, thanks...... Mind your wallet.

Oh and get me somethiing good to bid for - this overdraft is not going to help itself!
 

Pararegtom

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
I have a certain Mr Depp in my sights slugs and at a boozzer you like, his sunnies or shreddies your choice
 
#12
I'd say it starts at the Boro in the south and goes up to Alnick. Anything north of that is Reever/ersatz Porridge wog territory.
 
#13
The North East?

A dreary, cold, rainy place where the natives wander about semi naked even in the depths of winter?

The unpleasant end of the A66 and A69? Even the Romans named a bit Wallsend (Latin for the end of civilisation), and they knew a thing or two about rough bits of Europe.

An area with a fecking great tin fairy on the roadside to warn all they're entering pagan-dom?

Where people hung a primate once, and not a religious one, either?

Where even a prime heifer is a "bonny lass" after a few glasses of "dog"?

Naah, I'll stick to civilised places like Glasgow, thanks all the same.
 
#14
Sorry to be awkward, but the southern end of the North East isn't defined by simple east-west and north-south lines. At the coast it includes Whitby. It then skirts round the edge of the North York Moors National Park as far as Stokesley (not included). It's a little vague between there and Scotch Corner. From Scotch Corner, the southern boundary follows the A66 to the crest of the Pennines, this forming the western boundary as you head north.

As TheIronDuke infers, the area north of the River Aln is not part of the North East, but forms part of the DMZ known as the English Borders. This explains why the Coldstream Guards are recruited predominantly from Yorkshire - they're trained to deploy at short notice to the area of No Man's Land that bears their name to defend against the Devils in Skirts.

Sorry Dale. Your territory isn't the North East. As I've mentioned before, you live in the Dales. You should be happy that someone chose to name the area after you.
 
#15
The other defining factor is demographic. The North East is a mixture of industrial and fishing. There is no room for farmers. Their land just gets in the way of the mines.
 
#17
Thanks, puttees, now we're getting it tied down. Which is just as well, or those buggers from "the disputed lands" of the Borders would nick it.

As a former inhabitant of both Carlisle and Penrith, the area east of Haltwhistle or Brough was also known as Apache country, among other things. Still, with a history of cattle rustling, rape and pillage, general banditry and lawlessness, it's not surprising it was never a tourist attraction. And if you go back in history to before the 1980's it was even worse!

PS, is Dale's surname really Yorkshire?
 
#18
Someone tell EODMATT or K13EOD I'm sure they would be glad of the work back in the UK.
They're persona non grata. Rumour's already spread that it's them who are responsible for getting rid of the mines.

K13 is known as "Maggie" in Consett.
 
#19
PS, is Dale's surname really Yorkshire?
Of course not. It's often said that people look like their pets, but in Dale's case that's not true. Dale's supine appearance reflects the area that she lives in. So, neither the Pennines nor the North York Moors. Dale is a creature of the lowlands. She's at home in the Yorkshire Dales but would be equally at home in the Vale of Pickering. She wouldn't, however, suit East Anglia as she's not that moist.
 
#20
Of course not. It's often said that people look like their pets, but in Dale's case that's not true. Dale's supine appearance reflects the area that she lives in. So, neither the Pennines nor the North York Moors. Dale is a creature of the lowlands. She's at home in the Yorkshire Dales but would be equally at home in the Vale of Pickering. She wouldn't, however, suit East Anglia as she's not that moist.
East Anglia? Not flat too? Or does she have Wolds?
 

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