I put this joke in the old jokes section which now is no more. So here it is again for those that may not have seen it.......... A guy decided to get a parrot for his wife, to keep her company whilst he's at work. He was browsing round a large pet store and came across a parrot who didn't appear to have any legs. The guy mutters. "I can't see any legs on this parrot." The Parrot looks at him and says. "That's correct, I'm defective, I don't have legs." The guy is astonished at this show of intelligence and says. "That's amazing, I thought parrots just mimicked." The parrot says. "That is true of course, but I am able to speak fluently in English and also have a very good grasp of French. I am able to hold an intelligent conversation on many subjects. Economics, philosophy and politics to name a few, I even have a good store of anecdotes and jokes." The guy says. "I am really impressed, but how do you stay on the perch without legs and feet?" The parrot whispers. " I curl my willie round it like a hook, it can't be seen, my feathers cover it. Why don't you buy me, I promise you wont regret it." The guy says. "How much are you?" The parrot replies. "£599, but make an offer of £75. They can't sell me, no one wants a parrot without legs, so I'm positive they'll do a deal." The fellow made a good deal for both the parrot and his cage and took him home. True to his word, the parrot was a great conversationalist and proved to be a great companion for both his wife and himself. Several months later, the guy came home from work early but his wife wasn't home. The parrot waved him over with it's wing and says. "I'm going out of my mind with worry and I feel that I've got to tell you something about your wife" The guy is getting worried too and says. "What? What? what is it?" The parrot says. "When the milkman came this morning, your wife answered the door dressed in a see through nightie, wearing nothing else." "Jesus..and then?" "She let him into the house and took him into the lounge, but the door was ajar and I could still see. The guy is frantic now. "What the fuck happened?..." "Well..they kissed and fondled each other for a while .." "Yes Yes go on..." "Then he knelt down in front of her and lifted up her nightie..." "The fuckin' bastard, what then...?" "He started kissing her, you know, down there, licking and making slobbering noises and she was holding him by his hair.. moaning and groaning." The raging guy shouts. "Jesus H Christ...go on..what the fuck did they do then?" The parrot squawked. "I haven't got a clue.. I got a hardon and fell off the perch."