Death pact Forums

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Travelgall, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. Naturally when I first heard about these Death Pact Forums I thought what a bunch of sad act wierdos, but I've had a change of heart. Obviously these people are going to top themselves anyway, can we not use their deaths both for the greater good of the country, and the greater good of my commute through London (instead of bloody throwing yourself infront of my train - you're commiting suicide, why not hit beachy head, after all its not like you've got anything else planned). Just think, you're a tubby fucker, and unlike the fork in your hand, you're down. Why not start bouncing around Helmand MSR's in a snatch to look for pressure plates. Skinny, annorexic, nobody loves you - gleaming, you're first through the door when carrying out room clearances. Not only do you get your funeral costs paid for. Your parents will feel a smidgeon better about it and you'll be scraped off the wall by somebody a bit less squeamish than your average jo blow Civvy who'se not going to want to pick up your severed willy when it gets sliced off by Bogies of the 4:50 from Paddington.

    Basically we're looking for that 11th Man YouTube - Beyond the Fringe - from the 'Aftermyth of War' sketch.

    Anybody else got any ideas about jobs for the expendible?
  2. medical experiments....

    ... or moving targets for range practice.
  3. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Cool, cool, cool. Don't just go to your miserable, lonely, pointless death having failed at the game of life! Go proud, in bits, leaving a legacy, and actually having meant something to someone! Crash Test Dummy!
  4. Help us answer the SLR/SA-80 debate once and for all...see those red flags? Just run around between them for a while, try to find the Easter eggs we've hidden...
  5. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    now that raised a smile.
  6. Mengele used laboons.
  7. I wonder if the CO's would consider adding another forum to ARRSE...
  8. Well the women could be used (I think I've done this on another thread) to help sexless young men overcome their shyness and virginity issues by being spunk deposits and effectivly being 'shagged to death'? But seeing as the late Ms. Lee (one of the stranger suiciders) was no looker, and it's likely that other no-hopers are too, then it could have it's sticking points.

    However, beggars can't be chooser's. And yes I still would. :albino:


    Lastly, do you reckon that the guy who pegged it with her though that the offer of meeting up in some Essex car park so that could go 'to heaven together' was confused as to her motives? Perhaps his face as she opened the bottle of noxious chems would have been a picture?
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    A mate of mine is a train driver for Virgin, due to the huge amount of paid time off you get when you splat a jumper, he frequents these forums often, giving details of his train timetable and what bridges are good for a guaranteed kill.

    He even has little stick men and a few animals, birds mostly, painted under the window of his cab, like fighter pilots used to have on their aircraft.
  10. They could do a re-make of Death Race.....

    Anyone who wants to throw in the towel of life could amble around pretending to be an average pedestrain and BAM!, pulverised by an Dodge Ram truck speeding down the pavement.

    Original movie was good, but this would be epic!
  11. Hahaha! Oscar-Award Winning Film Of The Year: 'Spurt Locker'
  12. Kit about 400 of them out with dynamite waistbands, djelabiyas, false beards and headgear, load them on an airbus to Mecca at ramadan and tell them to go mingle near the big black stone.....
  13. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    Couldn't they just automatically forward some of the O2 thief posts automatically on to those sites the minute they try to post?
  14. Does anyone have a link to said forums as im bored and feel like trolling